When it comes to divorce, military families face a straining and stressful process. The Certified Family Law Specialists at Holstrom, Block & Parke know just how overwhelming the process can be, as we’ve handled many unique and challenging military divorce cases.
But what makes military divorces so common in the first place? The divorce rate in the military tends to hover around 4%, slightly higher than the 2.5% seen in civilian populations. While these numbers don’t seem worlds apart, military life pressures can make marriage far more difficult.
In fact, military divorce rates fluctuate depending on age, years of service, and the personal experiences of service members. Let’s explore some key stages in a military career and how they impact the likelihood of divorce.
Early Career Divorces
It's no secret that many young service members marry early, often in their early 20s. These relationships, while full of optimism, are sometimes rushed.
Young service members may feel the pressure of long deployments or financial instability. Without much life experience, the idea of marriage might seem like a grounding force in an otherwise unstable time. But the reality of marriage can be much tougher.
Many early-career divorces happen because young couples aren’t prepared for the realities of military life. It’s a challenging transition, and the lifestyle can strain even the most committed partnerships.
Long separations due to deployments, combined with the financial strain of starting a family on a military salary, often lead to frustration. When you're just starting out and already under pressure, it can feel like you're fighting an uphill battle every day.
The impact of these divorces isn’t just emotional—it can also have financial consequences. Service members going through an early-career divorce may face complications with military benefits or even see their career trajectories altered as they navigate these personal struggles.
Mid-Career Challenges
As service members move into their late 20s and 30s, their career demands often increase, and their families grow. At this stage, frequent relocations, career advancements, and the added responsibility of raising children can make it hard to maintain a healthy marriage. This mid-career period tends to be a turning point for many military couples.
The pressures of constant moving, coupled with the emotional toll of long deployments, can cause spouses to grow apart. Military families often find themselves living in new places, away from their support networks.
It’s not just the service member who is affected by the demands of the job; the spouse and children also bear the weight of these changes. For many, the stress builds up over time, leading to feelings of isolation or resentment.
Mid-career divorces are also tricky when it comes to dividing assets, especially military pensions and retirement benefits. Service members who have been in the military for a decade or more often find themselves negotiating not just emotional and physical custody of children, but also how to fairly divide the financial future they’ve worked so hard to build.
Post-Deployment Divorces
The time immediately following a deployment is often the most fragile for military families. Divorce rates spike within the first year of a service member’s return home, as the reintegration process is far from simple.
After months apart, both the service member and their spouse have changed. They may have lived separate lives, and adjusting to being together again can be overwhelming.
The psychological impact of deployment—whether it’s PTSD, anxiety, or simply the strain of being away—often plays a big role in post-deployment divorces. Service members return home to a world that has moved on without them, and the adjustment can be jarring.
Spouses, on the other hand, have grown accustomed to handling everything on their own. This mismatch of expectations can lead to significant emotional conflict.
During this period, both service members and their spouses must seek support, whether through counseling or mental health services. Open communication and professional guidance can make all the difference when it comes to keeping a marriage intact after deployment.
Late-Career and Retirement Transitions
For service members approaching their 40s and 50s, the end of their military career can be both a relief and a source of anxiety. With retirement on the horizon, couples face the challenge of redefining their roles and identities outside of the military structure that has shaped their lives.
Divorce rates among late-career service members highlight how difficult this transition can be. Suddenly, a couple that has been together for decades is faced with planning for a future that doesn’t include the military.
Financial concerns, unresolved issues from earlier in the marriage, and the stress of preparing for life after the military can put even the most solid marriages at risk.
One of the biggest hurdles in these divorces is the division of retirement pay and healthcare benefits. Service members are entitled to a wide range of benefits in retirement, and dividing these assets requires careful legal guidance to ensure both parties receive their fair share.
Facing Divorce? California Service Members, We're Here for You
At Holstrom, Block & Parke, we understand how military service impacts families, and we’re here to help you through it. Our Certified Family Law Specialists and legal team have guided numerous families through the challenges of early-career and near-retirement military divorce.
If you’re a California service member facing divorce, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at (855) 827-6639 for a consultation. Alternatively, you can use our online contact form. We’re committed to securing the best outcome for you and your family.