Deciding on a trial separation is never easy—it often follows deep conversations and tough emotions. Have you found yourself wondering if this step could provide the clarity you need?

At Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC, our team of Certified Family Law Specialists brings over 300 years of experience to support families through challenging transitions. This checklist offers essential considerations–from living arrangements to financial responsibilities–to help you navigate your separation effectively. While it’s not legal advice, it’s a helpful starting point for your journey.

What Is Your Goal for the Trial Separation?

Before moving forward, it’s crucial to ask yourself: What do you want to achieve during this time apart?

Trial separations can serve different purposes, such as:

• Gaining individual clarity on your feelings and priorities.
• Improving communication that might have broken down.
• Addressing specific issues like trust, infidelity, or financial disagreements.
• Determining whether reconciliation is possible or whether divorce is the right path.
• Establishing clear boundaries and expectations.
• Maintaining open and honest communication.

Take some time to write down your goals and discuss them with your spouse. Being on the same page about why you're separating and what you both hope to learn is an essential first step.

Legal Considerations During Separation

In California, trial separations don’t automatically carry legal consequences unless you decide to formalize them. However, you should know how your time apart could affect a potential divorce down the line.

Key Legal Points to Know:

• Date of Separation: This is the date when you and your spouse decided to live apart. In California, the "date of separation" can impact property division in a divorce.
• Legal Separation vs. Trial Separation: A legal separation involves filing paperwork with the court and comes with legal protections, while a trial separation is often informal and doesn’t involve the court.

If you're uncertain about any of these aspects, it’s wise to consult an attorney to make sure your rights are protected.

Financial Arrangements During a Trial Separation

Money is often a source of tension in relationships, and it can become even more complicated during a separation. Clear financial boundaries and agreements are essential to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Ask yourselves:

• How will household expenses be handled during the separation?
• Will you maintain joint accounts, or will you open separate ones?
• What happens to debts that you share?
• Should one spouse pay spousal support temporarily?

Creating a budget can help lay out exactly who will pay for what during this time. It might also be worth consulting a financial advisor to ensure all expenses are accounted for.

Living Arrangements: Where Will Everyone Stay?

Deciding who stays in the family home and who moves out is another significant decision. It can also be one of the hardest. If possible, this decision should be based on practical considerations rather than emotions.

Make a list of your possessions and discuss how to handle items that are particularly valuable or sentimental.

Parenting Plans: Putting the Kids First

If you have children, their needs should take priority during the separation. It’s essential to create a temporary custody and visitation plan that minimizes disruptions to their lives.

Key questions to discuss:

• What will the custody and visitation schedule look like?
• How will you handle decisions about the children’s health, education, and activities?
• How will expenses like child care or extracurricular activities be covered?
• How will you communicate about the children’s needs and well-being?

Keeping a journal to track co-parenting arrangements and any changes can be helpful. Remember, California courts always focus on the “best interests of the child,” so putting your children first can also set the tone for any future decisions.

Communication and Setting Boundaries

Trial separations can be emotionally charged, so clear communication is key to keeping things from spiraling into conflict.

Some couples find it helpful to schedule check-ins to discuss how the separation is going. This can be a chance to assess whether adjustments need to be made to the original plan.

Practical Considerations

Even small details can create big headaches if they’re not addressed. Take time to think about how you’ll manage day-to-day responsibilities and social situations.

Ask yourselves:

• How will household chores, pet care, and other shared responsibilities be divided?
• What will you tell family, friends, and coworkers about the separation?
• How will you handle attending social events, especially if you’re both invited?

Setting clear expectations can prevent miscommunication and make this time less stressful for both of you.

Regular Check-Ins: Reviewing and Reassessing

A trial separation isn’t meant to be indefinite. It’s important to set a timeframe and agree to check in periodically to discuss how things are going.

Think about:

• How long the trial separation will last?
• When you meet to review your progress and discuss the next steps?
• How you’ll decide whether to reconcile, continue the separation, or pursue divorce.

Regular communication and a willingness to adjust the plan can help keep the process constructive.

Facing a Trial Separation? Let Us Help.

At Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC, we know how overwhelming this time can be. Our team of Certified Family Law Specialists is here to guide you through the legal and emotional challenges of trial separation. Whether you’re looking for clarity on your rights or need help creating a formal agreement, we’re ready to support you.

Contact us today at 855-426-9111 to schedule a consultation. Together, we’ll help you find a path forward that works for you and your family.