How Men Can Survive Divorce

Women are often favored in courts, whether we want to believe it or not. They’re viewed as the people who primarily raise the children, and the courts are usually more lenient on women.

So what can men do differently? Let’s look at the top five divorce mistakes men are making…

  1. Using children as pawns. When visitation or custody is a threat, it’s common for any loving dad to react powerfully. But don’t respond the same way. Don’t issue threats, and remember that the truth will come out. If you’re a good parent, Holstrom, Block & Parke attorneys will ensure your rights are protected.
  2. The other woman. We know it may seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many men start dating or sleeping around before they’re actually divorced. It’s dangerous and will create issues for you. Hold off until it’s finalized.
  3. Not hiring an attorney. Your spouse may try to convince you otherwise, but you DO need our help. Look at the outcomes for men who don’t hire attorneys—it’s not pretty.
  4. Being passive. You may want a calm divorce because you simply just don’t want to fight anymore…but this is probably not the time to stop fighting just yet. You should fight for what is yours when it’s important: money, property, your children, your rights.
  5. Embarrassing your spouse. We’ve all seen the wife on TV get served divorced papers in awkward settings. You may find that comical, but it is NOT smart. Don’t add fuel to the fire unless you absolutely need to.

Tips for Guys Going Through a Divorce

AskMen recently posted some tips for guys going through a divorce trying to make it out alive.

They’re useful tips for our friends, so we thought we’d share them here.

  1. Count Your Marriage as a Sunk Cost
    In the finance world a sunk cost is something that’s already been paid and can’t be recovered. It’s natural to continue trying to save your marriage and your relationship, even if deep down you know that it’s no longer healthy and that it will never work. Once you’re sure it won’t work long-term, swallow that fact, accept it, and move on.
  2. Reconnect with Friends 
    You’ll likely lose a handful of friends during a divorce—it’s almost inevitable. So try reconnecting with older friends. Look up friends you didn’t have time to see when you were married. It’s a good opportunity to reestablish a few relationships, ones that may be necessary if you’re struggling being a single man again.
  3. Get a Lawyer 
    Do it now. Many men wait to get an attorney until it’s too late. Unless you have your J.D. you’re not qualified to know how to handle most of these situations. If you don’t want to pull over and ask for directions- fine; but don’t make that mistake in your divorce legal issues.
  4. Indulge 
    Before you were married you probably had many habits that were for single guys only. Now you can get those habits back! Don’t worry about maybe acting a little young for your age at first. That will pass. Let loose and enjoy yourself as a single guy again.
  5. Find a Hobby 
    Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but you didn’t have time? Or maybe your wife didn’t want you to? Now you can! Its healthy to indulge in self-serving practices for a little while when you get divorced, and it will help take your mind off the divorce.

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