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Can You Lose Custody for Not Co-Parenting in California?

Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be challenging, but it’s a necessary part of making sure your child thrives. Sometimes, parents struggle to cooperate, and this typically leads to bigger issues—especially regarding child custody.

So, can you lose custody for not co-parenting in California? The short answer is yes, it’s possible, and we’ll explain why.

The Importance of Co-Parenting in California

Co-parenting is essential in California custody cases, as it promotes a stable and supportive environment for the child. Courts favor arrangements where both parents work together, showing they prioritize the child's well-being over personal conflicts.

The Best Interest of the Child

In California, family courts are guided by one central principle: the best interest of the child. Judges look closely at how well each parent fosters a healthy, stable environment when making decisions about custody. One key factor is whether parents are willing and able to co-parent effectively.

Courts generally believe that children benefit from having strong relationships with both parents. This is why California law encourages shared custody and frequent contact with both parents, as long as it’s in the child’s best interest.

If one parent refuses to cooperate or makes it difficult for the other parent to be involved, it can negatively affect their standing in custody matters.

The Expectation of Cooperation

You must work together, even if you and your ex don’t see eye to eye on everything.

This includes communicating about your child’s needs, respecting the other parent’s time with the child, and making decisions together when necessary. The court expects both parents to put aside personal differences to create the best environment for the child.

Parents who actively work against each other or refuse to share important information about their children are not considered to be fostering a healthy co-parenting relationship. When this happens, it can raise red flags for the course, and when parents fail to meet these expectations—it can result in unfavorable consequences.

The Impact of Non-Cooperation

Non-cooperation in co-parenting can lead to serious consequences. Courts want to see that each parent is doing their part to make sure the child has a strong, positive relationship with the other parent.

If one parent consistently undermines that, the court may take action to protect the child’s well-being.  Neglecting to co-parent could be viewed as harmful to the child, and in extreme cases, it may result in changes to custody arrangements.

When Non-Cooperation Affects Custody

Non-cooperation in co-parenting can negatively impact custody arrangements, as the court views it as harmful to the child.

Examples of Problematic Behavior

Not co-parenting effectively doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to lose custody overnight, but certain behaviors can hurt your case. Here are some examples of non-cooperative behavior that courts may take into account when deciding custody cases. :

  • Refusing to share information: If you’re not keeping the other parent informed about important aspects of your child’s life—like medical issues, school events, or extracurricular activities—that can be seen as a lack of cooperation.
  • Limiting visitation without cause: Consistently denying the other parent’s right to visitation without a valid reason can be considered interference and negatively impact your standing.
  • Making unilateral decisions: If you’re making major decisions about your child’s education, health, or religious upbringing without consulting the other parent, this can be viewed as disregarding the co-parenting arrangement.
  • Parental alienation: If you’re actively trying to turn your child against the other parent—by badmouthing them or discouraging the child from spending time with them—the court may see this as harmful and take action.
  • Ignoring court orders: Violating existing court orders about custody or visitation can result in serious repercussions, including modifications to your custody rights.

Consequences of Failing to Co-Parent

Poor co-parenting can lead to serious consequences, including changes to your custody arrangement.

Modification of Custody Orders

If your failure to co-parent is significantly harming your child or disrupting the other parent’s ability to maintain a relationship with the child, the court can modify your custody arrangement. This might involve reducing your time with the child or placing restrictions on your custody, such as supervised visitation.

Loss of Custody

In extreme cases—such as repeated violations of court orders or severe parental alienation—the court may take more drastic measures. If your actions are determined to be damaging to your child’s well-being, you could lose custody altogether, with the court awarding sole custody to the other parent.

Other Legal Repercussions

Failing to co-parent effectively could also lead to other legal issues, such as being held in contempt of court for violating custody orders. In some cases, failure to cooperate may be seen as neglect if it harms the child. These legal consequences can be severe and have lasting effects on your custody rights.

Seeking Legal Guidance

If you find yourself struggling with co-parenting, it’s important to seek legal guidance sooner rather than later. An experienced family law attorney can help you understand your legal obligations and work with you to find solutions that keep your custody arrangement intact.

They can also help you address any concerns about the other parent’s behavior, such as filing motions to enforce visitation or address non-cooperation.

Alternative Dispute Resolution

If co-parenting conflicts are becoming too much to handle, you might consider alternative dispute resolution, which include methods like mediation or collaborative law, may offer a way to resolve conflict without going to court.

Moreover, this could help to improve communication for the child’s sake.

Facing Co-Parenting Challenges? We Can Help

If you don't know how to go about co-parenting or are worried that your custody arrangement is at risk, Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC is here to help.

With over 300 years of combined experience in family law, our team of Certified Family Law Specialists understands the complexities of co-parenting and custody issues in California.

We can help you address any legal challenges you’re facing, whether it’s ensuring your custody rights are protected or advocating for changes if the other parent isn’t cooperating.  Contact us at (855)-426-911 we're here to provide the guidance you need to navigate these tough situations and protect your child’s well-being.

Co-Parenting

Can Both Parents Claim Their Child on Taxes in California?

Raising children is an expensive process, and when parents live in separate households, the expenses increase. The State of California and the federal government both provide tax credits that can offset a few of the costs. When parents are married and file tax returns jointly, they share the benefit of these credits.

But what happens when they live apart? Can they each claim the child on their taxes and take part of the benefits? How should taxes be handled for parents who are divorced or who never married? If you pay child support, do you automatically get to the take the tax benefits? It is important to understand and address tax issues ahead of time, particularly if you are establishing the terms of a divorce settlement.

While the Dependent Exemption is Gone, Status as a Dependent Matters

When federal tax laws changed a few years ago, the federal government eliminated the tax exemption for children and other dependents. However, these were replaced in many cases by tax credits. Generally, a tax credit can only be taken for an individual who is listed as a dependent on your tax return. So it is important to declare the appropriate dependents on your return. This includes not only your children but can also include siblings, grandchildren, and other descendants who lived with you for more than half the year and who provide no more than half of their own financial support.

A Child Can Only Be Claimed on One Tax Return

Child tax credits cannot be shared between parents if they file separate tax returns, even if they are married filing separately. A child can be listed as a dependent only once.

Parents can still share the financial benefits obtained from child tax credits, but they need to establish separate arrangements for doing so. This can be set up in many different ways as part of the divorce settlement. The parent who claims the tax credits may be required to make an outright payment to the other parent that represents a portion of the tax credit. Or the parents might take turns claiming the child as a dependent in alternate years. If parents have more than one child in common, one parent might claim the first child while the other parent claims the second child. An experienced family law attorney can review a number of options with you.

The Federal Government Assumes the Parent with Custody is Claiming the Tax Credits

Even when the noncustodial parent is the one paying the majority of a child’s living expenses, the U.S. government assumes that the parent the child lives with most of the time—the custodial parent—is the one with the right to claim the child as a dependent and obtain the tax credits. It is possible for the noncustodial parent to claim the child and the accompanying tax credits, but only if the custodial parent signs Form 8332 Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child By Custodial Parent. The parent claiming the child as a dependent must file this signed form with their tax return. Moreover, they need to be ready to file their taxes early. If the custodial parent forgets they signed the form, they can still claim the child, and if they file their return first, the other parent will be out of luck. The system that processes tax return information will not allow a child to be claimed as a dependent more than once.

Work with an Attorney to Ensure that Tax Benefits are Fairly Accounted for Between Parents

Since a parent may be able to claim tax credits on both their federal and California tax return, the credits could amount to several thousand dollars each year, depending on the parents’ incomes. It makes sense to develop a fair plan to allocate the benefits between parents, including provisions to adjust the arrangements in the future if tax laws change.

An attorney can help assess the value of the tax benefits and create a plan to ensure that the value is shared in some way that can be enforced if necessary.

Talk to Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC if You Have Questions About Allocation Responsibilities Between Parents

The Certified Family Law Specialists and associates at Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC, know that parents have many issues to consider in divorce and that taxes often get overlooked or pushed to the bottom of the priority list. We work to protect our clients by ensuring that taxes receive appropriate consideration so that you receive your fair share of resources during and after a divorce.

To discuss the ways we can protect your interests, schedule a confidential consultation with our team today.

Co-Parenting

Co-Parenting Is Hard—But There’s An App For That

Even when you have a parenting plan and custody arrangements that fit your schedule well, the process of coordinating parenting tasks and communicating about key issues in your child's life can be incredibly challenging. Whose turn is it to pick up from soccer practice? Did you sign the permission slip for the field trip? Do you have a receipt from the math tutor? Trying to keep details straight and resolve questions and conflicts can be a fulltime job all on its own.

Fortunately, there are some apps that can help with scheduling, financial, and communication issues, helping you avoid angry phone calls and children stranded on the soccer field. Incorporating an app into your routine can be particularly helpful when you want to avoid frequent communication with your ex or when you simply do not have time for a conversation.

Understanding Your Options

If you want to use an app to help with scheduling and communication between you and a child’s other parent, there are two primary types of apps that can help. Many companies have developed specialized apps designed specifically for managing custody schedules, structuring communication, documenting expenses, keeping track of schedule changes, and more. These apps typically charge a fee that runs between $8 and $14 per month, but a few are free.

The other type of app that parents often use to coordinate schedules and tasks are free calendar apps intended for general use. These programs lack some of the targeted features and do not help with certain issues such as controlling communication, but they can sometimes be easier to use, and if you don’t like an app, you have not invested any financial resources on it and can try something else immediately.

Apps Designed for Co-Parenting

In our experience working with parents during and after the divorce process, we have discussed many different tools to smooth coordination and minimize conflict between parents. Some of the highest rated and most popular options for co-parenting phone apps include:

Certain apps focus on only one aspect of co-parenting. For instance, Onward was developed primarily to help parents manage expenses and facilitate reimbursement. Or the app Custody Xchange is designed to develop and manage custody agreements. It can help create a schedule, build that into a written parenting plan, and calculate parenting time. Of course, an app cannot take into account all the factors that should go into choosing the right plan and it is no substitute for working with an experienced custody attorney, but it can help provide some suggestions and keep track of schedules once they have been established.

Other co-parenting apps can help with a wide array of tasks, but perhaps not with the same degree of precision. For instance, AppClose includes multifunction calendars that can track parenting time, provide a platform for communicating schedule requests, and export records. In addition to the calendar, the app includes a messaging function for secure communications that keeps records of conversations that cannot be altered. The app also includes tools for tracking expenses and requesting reimbursement. Other apps may offer slightly different features, but choosing the best option may come down to a preference in the style of interface.

General Calendar Apps

Parents who are already familiar with a particular general calendar app may prefer to use one of that app in conjunction with a co-parent. For instance, if both parents regularly use Google calendar and other apps, they should be able to sync schedules and set up notifications to automatically send a message when something is changed or added to the calendar. Other popular calendar apps include Microsoft Outlook, aCalendar, DigiCal, and Any.do, which also includes to-do lists that can help with co-parenting communication.

While calendar apps have the advantage of simplicity and familiarity, they cannot help with functions such as keeping track of expenses or structuring communication. General calendar apps seem to work best for parents who already have good communication habits and just need a better way to keep track of schedules. Parents who struggle to establish rules and boundaries seem to benefit more from the advanced features included in apps designed specifically for co-parenting.

Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC Helps Parents Secure the Best Future for Their Children

Whether parents have recently separated or never lived together, the task of coordinating parenting duties often seems to pose fresh challenges each day. The team at Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC has over 300 years of combined experience helping parents secure the best parenting plans for their children, but we know that it takes effort to keep those plans functioning. If you need help developing a parenting plan or enforcing terms, we invite you to schedule a confidential consultation.

 

Co-Parenting

Tips For Creating A Holiday Parenting Plan or Order

It's the most wonderful time of the year...it’s also the busiest and can be the most stressful time for families with parents who are separated or divorced, and have to figure out how to make sure that the children spend time with both parents. Creating a holiday schedule doesn’t have to be a source of stress for parents and children. In fact, the purpose of having a schedule or court order in place ahead of time is to alleviate frustration, confusion and chaos. These things enable both parents to plan for their major holidays respectively, while ensuring that the children have adequate time with each parent and the sense of security that comes with having a well communicated, mutually agreed upon plan. Children have so many expectations and emotions tied to holidays, due to the traditions and memories created. No child wants to spend the holidays, after a separation or divorce, listening to parents argue, being put in the middle of parental squabbles, or being made to feel guilty for spending time with one parent over the other parent. Parents should work together to mitigate anxiety and negative emotions for their children, while preparing them for new traditions and schedule changes in a way that reassures them that the holidays will still be memorable and a positive experience. The Custody Queens have some valuable tips for parents who want to navigate the holiday season as peacefully as possible by creating a plan that works for everyone, especially the children.

  1. Plan ahead. Do not wait until the last minute to start a conversation with the other parent. This needs to be well thought out and planned for in advance of the holiday so that plans can be communicated with the children.
  2. Be specific in crafting court Orders, but remain open to flexibility in practice. Having a specific court Order can help manage expectations and mitigate stress. On the other hand, remember life happens and being flexible with the other parent can be more practical and help foster a genuine co-parenting relationship.
  3. Accept that holidays will generally be split. This is really a conversation about how to arrange the time. Some suggestions on how to do this are:
    1. Alternating holidays (i.e. In odd years one parent has Christmas Eve and the other parent has Christmas day. In even years, the parents switch days.)
    2. Split the day between both parents (i.e. The first half of Thanksgiving Day is spent with one parent, the second half of Thanksgiving Day is spent with the other)
    3. Schedule the holiday twice. As parents, we can observe holidays on alternative days. For example, often separated parents observe their child’s birthday on a different day so that both parents get to celebrate. What child doesn’t want two birthdays?!
  4. Address travel. Will arrangements be needed for transportation and what time will need to be allotted for this? Who will be making these arrangements and paying travel expenses?
  5. Keep the children out of it. Even if you disagree, do not bring your children into the dispute—children want to celebrate holidays, not inherit your stress.
  6. Itemize which holidays need to be addressed in the Order. Some families celebrate only major holidays; others celebrate additional days/school break days/etc…Consider the type of schedule you have. If you exercise joint physical custody, do you really need to recognize all non-major holidays? The answer is sometimes yes. However, consider that with a joint physical arrangement, exercising non-major holidays does not provide you with additional time—it provides you with adjusted time that may cause unnecessary disruptions to an otherwise consistent schedule.
  7. Be efficient. Consider negotiating/agreeing on the entire year’s holiday/special day schedule at the same time. There is inevitably going to be more passion related to the holiday which is right in front of you (i.e. Christmas Eve or Christmas Day). Rather than having 8-9 different negotiations every time a holiday is approaching, just sit down, and agree on whatever split works best for your family for the entire year. If you don’t have your preferred schedule for this year, ask to reverse the schedule on alternating years so that it is consistent and your children get the opportunity to experience each holiday with both sides of the family.
  8. Special requests. If the other side has a request, do not refuse it just for the sake of refusal. Consider asking for an accommodation on your own special requests when negotiating.
  9. Identify your family’s unique needs. If you have them, include them in the plan or Order.

Now is the time to get your plan or orders in place to ensure that everyone has a peaceful holiday. For more tips on thriving during the holiday season, please read our blog post on Tips for Co-parenting Around The Holidays. With good communication, a willingness to compromise and proper planning, your holiday can be a lot less stressful and a lot more merry. Be sure to follow us on social media for daily posts and more.

PLEASE NOTE:

The material and information contained on this website is for general information purposes only and is not intended to be legal advice. It does not create an attorney/client relationship in any way, shape or form. The Custody Queens, a division of Holstrom, Block and Parke, are attorneys at law, licensed to practice in the state of California and have based the information presented on US laws. All cases are different and nothing in this content is intended to suggest any particular result for your matter. Custody Queens has no control over and accepts no liability in respect of materials, products or services available on any website which is not under the control of Custody Queens. Certain links in this website may lead to websites which are not under the control of Custody Queens, or Holstrom, Block and Parke, APLC. When you activate these website links, you will leave the Custody Queens website. Therefore, we have no control over and accept no liability in respect of the materials, products or services available on the third party websites, which are not under control of Custody Queens. There is no substitute for seeking out advice from a competent Family Law professional and you should always consult with an attorney before you rely on this information.

After Divorce / Child Custody / Co-Parenting / Divorce / Family Law

What Family Courts Must Understand About Children with ASD

Changes in how autism is defined means more children more eligible for diagnosis. Efforts in professional communities in the past 15 years have improved our understanding of ASD. More children are being evaluated, there are more avenues of support for children and their families. Subsequently, professionals working in family law courts have more exposure to children with ASD as well

Co-Parenting / Child Custody / Child Support / Family Law

Infidelity & Divorce in California

Why Is It Important To Maintain Civility With Your EX?

Is marriage forever? For the lucky few, yes. Unfortunately, however, the reality is a significant amount of marriages end in divorce. Many relationships end because one or both spouses have been unfaithful. When infidelity occurs, it can make an already tough situation worse, especially when there are children involved. This is because, rather than completely parting ways, parents still have to spend many years, if not a lifetime, co-parenting, interacting with one another, attending events, family gatherings, and the like.

How The California Court Weighs Infidelity During The Divorce Proceedings

In dissolution and child custody proceedings, it may be tempting to assume that such unfavorable behavior would give the “cheated on” spouse an unfair advantage, financially, with respect to parenting time, and otherwise. It may come as a surprise then to find out that, generally speaking, infidelity will not have much of an impact on your divorce and child custody matter. This is because California is a no-fault state.

In California, divorce and legal separation are generally based on “irreconcilable differences, which have caused the irremediable breakdown of the marriage.” This ground is pleaded generally which means that you do not have to “prove” fault to obtain a divorce. In very rare instances, divorce and legal separation can be based on “permanent legal incapacity to make decisions.” Thus, informing the court that your spouse cheated on you will not get you very far. The court will not award you additional support or time with your children because your spouse was unfaithful.

The Specifics Matter – Make Sure You Consult With An Attorney

On the other hand, disclosing this information to the court may hurt you, at least with respect to child custody and visitation. This can occur if you start bashing your ex to the court. A court may, in some cases, feel that you are not co-parenting. This is because although health, safety, and welfare concerns regarding your children are relevant to custody proceedings; your spouse’s ability to stay faithful is not. Please note, you should always contact an attorney regarding the specifics of your case. Even though California is a no-fault state, your divorce attorney may hear other facts in your case that you may be able to use to your advantage.

Child Custody / Child Support / Co-Parenting / Divorce

3 Tips For Parents Communicating With Their Former Spouse

How To Maintain Communication For Your Child’s Sake

Ideally, parents will work together to amicably raise their child and will consistently make decisions based solely on the best interest of their child. Unfortunately, however, most parents struggle, at least to some degree, with “co-parenting”. The first thing to break down when working to raise a child in two separate homes is communication. The below are some helpful tips to consider when communicating with your ex regarding child custody and visitation matters.

KEEP COMMUNICATION RELEVANT

When co-parenting with your ex, it is important to stay focused on the relevant issue at hand, namely, your child. You should not make a practice out of bringing up issues regarding your ex’s personal life unless there is a strong nexus to your child’s safety or wellbeing. Bringing up irrelevant information may, in some instances, result in an unfavorable ruling in your family law matter.

NO “NAME CALLING”

Being disrespectful to your ex, even when it is deserved, will rarely if ever, help your case. While “telling your ex off” may feel good at the time, it is crucial to understand that this correspondence may come back to hurt you in the future, possibly in the form of an exhibit for the Judge to review. Moreover, even if your ex does not bring this information to the court’s attention, it is likely that you will have made your co-parenting relationship worse.

ADDRESS LEGITIMATE CONCERNS IN WRITING

If you have a legitimate concern regarding the health, safety, or welfare of your child, it is important to bring this information up to your ex immediately, preferably in a written correspondence. While it is hopeful that you will not have to go to court over the issue, it is important to create a written record in the event that your ex refuses to work to resolve this issue, and you have to move forward to get relief from the court. On the other hand, if your ex brings up a safety concern regarding the child to your attention, it is important to address that concern, even if it is an irrational one. Blowing off your ex will show the court that you are not willing to co-parent.

Please note, the above are just a few tips and things to consider when co-parenting with your ex. It is important to discuss the specific issues of your case with a trusted family law attorney.

Child Custody / Co-Parenting / Family Law

Visitation Rights - My Child Doesn't Want To See Me

You are finally granted visitation rights and visiting with your child is supposed to be a time to look forward to. But, what do you do when your child doesn’t want to see you? You can’t force a child to visit with his or her parent.

Your child’s refusal of visits can be because:

  • You are not tuned into his or her interests
  • Your child is very young and anxious about separation from the custodial parent

The following can be helpful:

  • Talk to your child – see why he or she doesn’t want to visit with you
  • Assure your child that you love him or her
  • Explain what happens during visits
  • Allow your child a week or so without visits

If your child doesn’t want to leave their primary home, have a heart-to-heart talk with your ex-spouse. The problem might be an easy one, such as paying more attention to your child or having more toys at your home.

If you are concerned about your time with your child and need some good advice about next steps, contact the experienced Orange County family attorneys at the Holstrom family law offices to discuss your options.

Child Custody / Co-Parenting

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The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this site should be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. This information is not intended to create, and receipt or viewing does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship.