3 Tips For Parents Communicating With Their Former Spouse

How To Maintain Communication For Your Child’s Sake

Ideally, parents will work together to amicably raise their child and will consistently make decisions based solely on the best interest of their child. Unfortunately, however, most parents struggle, at least to some degree, with “co-parenting”. The first thing to break down when working to raise a child in two separate homes is communication. The below are some helpful tips to consider when communicating with your ex regarding child custody and visitation matters.


When co-parenting with your ex, it is important to stay focused on the relevant issue at hand, namely, your child. You should not make a practice out of bringing up issues regarding your ex’s personal life unless there is a strong nexus to your child’s safety or wellbeing. Bringing up irrelevant information may, in some instances, result in an unfavorable ruling in your family law matter.


Being disrespectful to your ex, even when it is deserved, will rarely if ever, help your case. While “telling your ex off” may feel good at the time, it is crucial to understand that this correspondence may come back to hurt you in the future, possibly in the form of an exhibit for the Judge to review. Moreover, even if your ex does not bring this information to the court’s attention, it is likely that you will have made your co-parenting relationship worse.


If you have a legitimate concern regarding the health, safety, or welfare of your child, it is important to bring this information up to your ex immediately, preferably in a written correspondence. While it is hopeful that you will not have to go to court over the issue, it is important to create a written record in the event that your ex refuses to work to resolve this issue, and you have to move forward to get relief from the court. On the other hand, if your ex brings up a safety concern regarding the child to your attention, it is important to address that concern, even if it is an irrational one. Blowing off your ex will show the court that you are not willing to co-parent.

Please note, the above are just a few tips and things to consider when co-parenting with your ex. It is important to discuss the specific issues of your case with a trusted family law attorney.

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