Since California is a “no-fault” state when it comes to divorce, many people believe that their divorce attorney has no need to know the reason for their divorce. But even though it is not necessary for the attorney to prove that someone did something wrong, knowing the reasons the marriage is ending can help your divorce attorney develop the best strategy to secure the right terms in your divorce settlement.
With over 300 years of collective experience protecting clients’ interests in the divorce process, the team at Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC has seen a huge array of reasons that couples choose to dissolve their marriages in California. Here are ten of the most common reasons.
1. Lack of Commitment
The most common justification cited for ending a marriage–the term “lack of commitment”-- is itself lacking in clear meaning. What does it mean to say that you or your partner lack commitment? Sometimes it means that a partner is not ready to share their life with someone. Or it could mean that a partner still wants to share their life with more than one someone. If you believe your marriage is ending due to lack of commitment, try to explain to your divorce attorney what this means to you. That enables your attorney to plan to meet the challenges likely to arise during the divorce process.
2. Communication Problems
Couples who don’t communicate or who communicate primarily in angry outbursts are very likely to end up divorced. A relationship is built on meeting each other’s needs, and if you can’t communicate effectively, needs go unmet and couples grow apart and often resent each other. If lack of communication or angry outbursts are a big problem in your marriage, letting your attorney know the difficulties can allow your legal advisor to find the most effective method to exchange information during the divorce process.
3. Differing Values and Interests
Sometimes couples meet over shared interests, but other times, they have little in common. If they don’t make an effort to develop mutual interests, or if partners develop diverging interests over time, they may feel like roommates rather than partners.
4. Financial Disagreements
When spouses have different ideas about how money should be managed, that can lead to a state of constant conflict that is exhausting. It is vitally important to make your attorney aware of financial disagreements because this enables your attorney to prepare for potential problems. It may be necessary to work with a forensic accountant to locate hidden assets or trace the history of separate property.
5. Infidelity and Trust Issues
If one partner has had an extramarital affair, or if a spouse has wrongfully accused the other spouse of cheating, then trust between partners is destroyed. It can be extremely difficult to rebuild trust, so partners often instead simply choose to end the marriage. However, if there is a desire to preserve the relationship and rebuild trust, often a postnuptial agreement provides a safety net to protect a spouse while giving the other partner a chance to prove they are worthy of trust.
6. Bullying and Abuse
When one spouse is abusive and controlling, it can be very difficult for the other spouse to take steps toward divorce, and when they finally do so, it is important to put measures into place for physical, mental, emotional, and financial protection. Make sure your attorney knows the details so they can take the best steps to protect your interests.
7. Parenting Struggles
Children often become the center of a marriage, and when spouses disagree about how to raise their children, the fighting can become painful for everyone and lead to a desire for peace. In situations where a child faces a medical crisis or has special needs, the pressure of dealing with the child’s needs also often drives couples apart. In either situation, it is helpful for your attorney to understand the conflict so your lawyer can determine how to help you formulate the right parenting plan.
8. Getting Married for the Wrong Reasons
Some people expect marriage to solve their problems when instead it can make those problems even worse unless steps are taken to the underlying issues. Make sure your attorney understands the unmet needs to determine the best options for settlement.
9. Addiction
Addiction destroys marriages very quickly. An addicted spouse puts the addiction ahead of everything else, and that can make life unbearable for the rest of the family. If you or your spouse are dealing with any type of addiction--from substance abuse to online shopping—your attorney needs to be aware of it.
10. Mid-life Crisis
Some people suddenly decide they don’t like the day-to-day aspects of their lives and want to start over, leaving behind their spouse, children, and everything else. If that’s the case with your spouse, let your attorney know. If your spouse only wants cash, for instance, your attorney may be able to negotiate a division of property that provides you with more value in exchange for less liquidity. Or if your spouse later requests custody, your attorney will be aware that they could be making the request purely to reduce child support obligations.
Tell the Team at Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC Why You are Getting Divorced
The more information you can provide for your attorney, the better you enable your legal advisor to protect you during divorce. This is not the time to be embarrassed—we have seen it all. Moreover, we are bound by confidentiality provisions so your secrets are safe with us.
For a confidential consultation to discuss the ways Holstrom, Block & Parke, APLC can protect your interests in divorce, contact our team today.
