Are You Holding a Grudge after your divorce?

Holding on to anger, resentment or bitterness toward your ex is only hurting yourself. We all know that deep down, but letting go of our feelings is easier said than done. You’ve been dwelling upon that grudge against your ex that’s buried deep within you for many years. Or maybe you feel like you have moved on. How can you be sure?

Author Rosalind Sedacca recently outlined three ways we can determine if we’re holding on to a grudge:

  1. Passive-aggressive behavior: You tell yourself you’re “over it” so your actions are subtle, yet you’re always finding ways to slightly “get back at” your ex. We all know what passive-aggressive looks like, but can we admit when we’re acting that way?
  2. Sarcastic remarks: Do you find yourself constantly being sarcastic around your ex? Is it to a much higher level than when you’re around other people?
  3. Being short: If you’re constantly “being short” with your ex, you’re coming across as annoyed or intolerant. You clearly don’t enjoy being around that person and you’re still upset at what happened in the past.

Ask yourself if these actions ring a bell. If you’re acting this way around your ex regularly, you’re probably still holding a grudge. And you know as well as we do that once the divorce is over, your grudge is only hurting yourself… not you ex. Let it go.

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