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Do I Have To Pay Spousal Support Before The Divorce Is Final?

Understanding Spousal Support

Spousal support. At this point, since you’ve made it to the website and are reading this article, you are either trying to figure out how to minimize your obligation to pay support or how to maximize your opportunity to obtain support. In fact, what’s important to note here is that spousal support is a very complex matter. And a very heated matter as well. Such questions often emerge: “Why do I have to pay him support?! I’m the woman.” Or, “Really, I have to pay her support even though she has a college degree and refuses work right now?!” It’s obvious, then, that spousal support may be the most contested issued during a divorce. So, let’s see if we can simplify a few things for you to get you started during your investigation.

A good starting point is to think about need vs. ability to pay. To keep this in very simplified form, often this is the lens the court will look through when awarding temporary spousal support. Wait, what do you mean temporary? Could it go away? And, does that mean there is also permanent spousal support too? Yes, and yes to the last two questions.

Temporary spousal support is very different than permanent spousal support. Temporary spousal support can begin (ready for this?) just days after one spouse files for divorce, which could be months or years before the divorce is final. To keep this simplified then, temporary support is before the final judgment, and permanent support is after the final judgment.

Understanding the timeline of the divorce will help: Once a spouse files for divorce with the court, California law will not allow the divorce to be final until at least 6 months have elapsed. A divorce can become final such as when (1) once the spouses agree in writing to such things like how the property will be divided or where the children will live and the judge signs off on this agreement; or(2) the divorce can become final after the judge rules on the parties’ disputed issues at a trial.

However, before the divorce becomes final, one spouse often seeks temporary spousal support. So, how do you get temporary spousal support? Like mentioned above, the court will weigh one spouse’s “need” against the other spouse’s “ability to pay.” That’s pretty much it for temporary support. This is relatively simple hurdle. So, to be blunt, the spouse earning more money will generally pay temporary spousal support.

So, now the bigger question: How much? The judge often will determine the amount of support by using a computer program called a Dissomaster or X-Spouse. That doesn’t help you now to determine what your obligation, or benefit, may be, does it? So, to help you, but to keep this in very simplified form, a support-paying spouse, for example, with no children, and where one spouse is employed, and the other spouse is unemployed, may expect to pay around 30% of his/her salary to the other spouse. You must know that this temporary support can last for months, or even years, until permanent spousal support is awarded.

For this article, though, our discussion is limited to temporary spousal support. Permanent spousal support is much more complex. In fact, a support-seeking spouse must provide proof of 14 different factors outlined in the law. Therefore, such discussion will need to be reserved for another time. Please note that the above information was kept in simplest form to help give you a primer of a situation that is important to know when considering divorce. As many areas of law, the complexity is understood and handled well by an attorney. Thus, it’s helpful to know that an experienced family law attorney is a phone call, or email, away to help provide guidance both before the marriage and at the difficult time of dissolving the marriage.

General / Spousal Support

Income & Child Support

It is important for parties going through a divorce to understand what monies can be considered income under the child support guidelines used by the court. However, understanding what is or is not considered income is not simple or easy. There are many pitfalls and the calculation may be off by hundreds if not thousands of dollars, if you don’t have a skilled child support attorney to guide you.

California Family Code Section 4058,“Considers gross income that from any source except for child support payments that are actually received or public assistance programs where the eligibility for program assistance is based on need.”

The process of determining income begins when the divorce petition is first filed. Child support is one of the most important issues in a divorce case. Talk to an experienced child support attorney who is knowledgeable in how the support is calculated and can guide you through the entire process.

You ask, “What is income for support purposes”? By statute, income includes, but is not limited to:

  • salaries and wages, including tips, bonuses, commissions, overtime pay
  • rents from rental properties
  • dividends, pensions, interest income, income from a trust or annuity
  • workers compensation benefits
  • unemployment insurance
  • disability insurance benefits
  • social security benefits and alimony (spousal support paid by someone other than the other parent) received from an unrelated case to the parent seeking child support
  • SSI might not be considered income in some instances because it’s based on need
  • recurring gifts
  • lottery winnings (when taken as a lump sum) and gambling winnings count as income
  • etc.

When it comes to business owners, their income is typically the gross revenues of the business minus reasonable business expenses.

In addition, income includes other perks, such as the use of a company car, free housing and reimbursed expenses (expense account). But perks/employee benefits are not necessarily or automatically considered income: the court has discretion.

Is there any monies that aren’t used to determine income? Yes, but there are exceptions to each rule. Below are just a few examples of funds not considered income:

  • student loans that are used for books and tuition are not considered income
  • life insurance death benefits
  • future speculative income
  • stock when it cannot be liquidated or is received in connection with the sale of a business
  • home equity
  • personal injury proceeds (However, interest from invested proceeds are considered income)
  • gifts of a non-monetary nature
  • inheritance money
  • etc.

The determination of child support and what is and what is not income in a child support case can be very complicated.

If you have a child support matter, whether you are the one facing a child support award against you or seeking child support, you owe it to yourself to contact the experienced family attorneys in the law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke.

We will guide you through your issues so you can focus on moving forward with your life. Contact us at one of our conveniently located offices in Orange, Riverside or San Bernardino Counties.

Child Support

Losing Your Separate Property House

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HOUSE IS NO LONGER MINE?
THE DIVORCE DILEMMA: LOSING THE HOUSE YOU PURCHASED BEFORE MARRIAGE

Written by Scott Feig, Esq.

What do you mean the house is no longer mine? I purchased it before I married her. And all the mortgage payments were made from my salary while she stayed home with the children. How can this be?!

This exclamation is often heard in the halls of the Family Law attorney’s office. In fact, all too often a spouse, to his or her dismay, learns that the house that he/she purchased before the marriage is now partially his/her soon-to-be ex-spouse’s upon the dissolution of the marriage. The misconception that so many people share is that the house they purchased before the marriage is 100% percent their house upon divorce. But, in California, this may not necessarily be true. For many people, this is a tough pill to swallow.

So, the best place to start is to understand that California is what we call a community property state. In fact, California is one of only 9 community property states. To keep it simple, without discussing any of the exceptions, generally, community property is all property, such as homes, land, cars, and personal belongings acquired by you or your spouse during the marriage. Note the operative term here—during. Generally, and to keep this very simple, community property is often split up between the spouses at divorce.

Thus, the flip side of this is to understand the other type of property—separate property. You can see where this is going. Generally, separate property is all the property you acquire before the marriage. Again, note the operative term—before. Generally, and to keep it simple, people often keep their separate property at divorce.

So, with this understanding, it makes sense if you are exclaiming: “My house that I purchased before marriage is mine, right?!” To your dismay, possibly not. Up until the date of marriage, the house was your separate property. But let’s look closely at the mortgage payments. If you paid the mortgage from your salary, note that California considers your salary community property, absent an agreement to the contrary, because your effort to earn it is a community effort, even when the other spouse stayed home with the children. Again, this may be a tough pill to swallow.

Thus, during the marriage, when you paid the mortgage on “your” house, the community began to earn a percentage in the home. Some of it depends on how much you paid down the mortgage during the marriage. The community may have a 10%, 20%, 30% or even much more interest. And, remember what was said above, generally community property is divided at divorce. So, at divorce, you may find yourself having to split part of the value of “your” house with your ex-spouse.

Please note that the above information was kept in simplest form to help give you a primer of a situation that surprises many people at divorce. As many areas of law, the complexity is understood and handled well by an attorney. Thus, it’s helpful to know that an experienced Family Law attorney is a phone call, or email, away to help provide guidance both before the marriage and at the difficult time of dissolving the marriage.

Property Division

Communicating with Your Children

While going through a divorce, people tend to have difficulty understanding exactly how the process works, what their own conflicting emotions mean, and how to handle this new situation they find themselves in. For families with children, the situation can be even more challenging because talking to children about the problems between mom and dad is just not the easiest thing to do.

You feel uncomfortable discussing this so you’re not sure what to say to anyone about it at all. You may not have even admitted to yourself that your marriage is ending. At Holstrom, Block & Parke, we help parents navigate their way through the often very complicated divorce process. In so doing, we help their children understand and deal with this reality at the same time to ensure that they come out of the process relatively unscathed. Our attorneys can start using their experience and resources today to help you do the same. For a free telephone consultation with one of our attorneys!

Tips on Communicating with Your Kids

As parents, we want to protect our children and prevent them from enduring unnecessary hardship and emotional strain. Unfortunately however, divorce and separation, which in many cases puts a heavy burden on our children, are not always avoidable. Whether you are just starting the divorce process, or you are years into a child custody agreement, communicating with your children is probably one of the single most important steps you can take to protect their best interests.

  • Be honest with your children. Divorce and separation will inevitably bring change to both your life and the lives of your children. For most, change will bring about a mix of emotions—some positive, some negative. Make sure that you have an age appropriate conversation with your children about your situation in order to help them manage their expectations. Pretending that nothing is going to change will set them up for disappointment and lower your credibility.
  • Set aside time to regularly communicate with your children. Making communication a priority will show your children that you care about their feelings and value their input. Sit them down and tell them that they are a priority in your life. This will create an environment where your children feel safe to inform you if they are having trouble coping with things.
  • Use non-verbal cues to show your children you are there for them. Communication is not limited to words. There are a variety of non-verbal ways to communicate with your children in order to reinforce to them that they are a priority in your life. Smile often, hug your children, and make frequent eye contact with them. This will signal to them that you care about them and their feelings. Remember that showing them affection can help to relieve a lot of the stress that your children may be going through during this hard time.
  • Don’t talk negatively about your ex to your children. By venting to your children about your ex, you may be inadvertently causing unnecessary conflict. Children frequently feel caught in the middle of their parent’s breakup. Letting your children know that you them spending time with your ex may help to reduce the stress that they may feel from being caught in the middle. Remember that even though your ex may be the world’s hardest person to get along with, it is in your children’s best interest to have meaningful, frequent contact with him/her.

Overwhelmed by the thought of getting as divorce? Talk to an attorney who can help you manage the process in a way that works for you. Call our office directly today!

Child Support

Equal Rights for Both Parents

Our lawyers are part of the premier law firm in the Pomona area known for representing equally both the mother and the father in child custody proceedings. We protect your rights under the law.

We understand that dads are often slighted in the eyes of the court. In fact men in general have been hurt because the family law system has leaned in favor of women. In cases of divorce, property settlement, alimony, and child custody, the scales of justice have unfortunately been heavier toward the female side.

Vast experience in the courtroom dynamics has taught us that men often come to court less prepared than their spouses. Women have usually spent more time discussing the situation with their family law attorneys, and are more aware of the situation.

We understand that the concerns of moms and dads are often different. If you are concerned about your separation, divorce, property rights, or child custody, see us.

We know that our male clients have equal protection under the law, and we make sure you get it.

Start now taking care of your children. You will need to show the court that you are capable of providing the daily care needed for your children to be happy and healthy. Some of the responsibilities you need to take are:

  • Spending time with your child/children
  • Keeping them clean (bathe, brush teeth, clean clothes)
  • Homework help
  • Attending events (sports, performances, Open House at school)
  • Take them to school on time

Of course we represent women as well as men in all Family Law cases: abuse, divorce, issuing orders of restraint, property settlement, and child custody.

Our goal is not to favor either the mom or the dad, but to support our client and give him/her the best legal advice possible. We are here to protect you and your rights.

Call us today!

General

Should You Keep His Name?

This post is dedicated to all the ladies of Riverside who took a man’s last name, divorced, and don’t know whether they should keep the new last name. And thanks to recent law changes, all the guys who are in the same boat.

In an interesting new trend, many women aren’t going back to their maiden name or keeping their married name—they’re choosing new last names. That name may be a maternal grandmother’s name or another relative important to that person. It’s a reflection of what matters and a symbolic way to truly start over.

Going back to your maiden name can feel like moving backward, and keeping your married name can feel like being stuck in something that didn’t work. So it does make sense why many women, post-divorce or separation, are choosing entirely new last names.

That being said, it may not be the wisest choice for everyone. Think of all the documents, the confusion, and the questions you’ll get. Realize that when your last name is different than your kids’ there are a thousand processes that will naturally be harder.

Here are a few tips:

  1. No matter what your name is, inform everyone. Make a long list of all the people, organizations, companies, etc. that need to know your legal name. Check them all off quickly.
  2. Talk to your friends and family. It’s your decision, but it can be nice to get feedback. It’ll also lessen the blow if it’s an unwanted surprise.
  3. Make a choice and stick to it. Once your name is legally changed, make sure people know and request to be called only that.
Divorce / General

What Kids Want Most

Divorce is not for the faint at heart. It can be a traumatic experience for everyone involved, and most parents agree that putting your kids first is the hardest part. It’s not hard because you don’t want to; it’s hard because you’re not sure how best to do that. Author Honoree Corder shared with HuffPost the three things kids want most when their parents divorce. If you can remember these three things, it should be much easier to know how to make sure the divorce process is as painless as possible for your children.

  1. They want you to be happy. A parent that isn’t happy, not matter what type of mood it is, makes an unhappy kid. Children feel most secure and content when their parents are content. So if you’re not happy, it’s not just hurting yourself. Focus on self-improvement for your kids’ sake.
  2. Attention. It’s a word typically with a negative association, but it is true that kids of most ages simply want our time and attention, even when they won’t admit it. Do what they want to do, set a weekly time, or figure out what you can do together. Take every step necessary to spend time with them.
  3. Get along with your ex. Once again, you may think this is/isn’t for your benefit… but it’s actually for your kids’ benefit. He might no longer be your spouse, but he’s still their dad. And no one wants to see their parents fight. Be friendly when it isn’t easy; be nice when she doesn’t deserve it. Take baby steps to building a mutually respectful relationship. Your kids will appreciate it, notice and model your behavior.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

General

Five Ways to Say Goodbye to your Relationship/Marriage

If you get to the point where there is no hope to save your marriage, how do you bring up the subject of divorce? Here are five suggestions. In every situation you need to find a quiet place for the discussion. Make sure just the two of you are alone and there will be no interruptions so you have plenty of time to talk. Be aware of using statements that are not accusatory, but instead discuss your specific feelings using “I” statements.

Here are five suggestions for discussion starters:

1. If your partner does not expect the breakup.

I know you have probably noticed that I have been acting differently lately. I’m sorry I haven’t shared with you my feelings. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore, so I didn’t say anything, but now I feel I must. I think we both know that our marriage has actually been over for a while, neither of us are happy. It’s difficult to say this, but I think it’s time to call it quits.

2. If your partner has done something you cannot forgive.

I hope you understand that I have really tried to forgive you. This relationship is one of the most important parts of my life. I wanted to make it work, but I just can’t get over the pain. I still love you and I know you are a good person who made a bad decision, but I need to move on.

3. If you simply need to get out.

I have been avoiding this conversation for a long time. There is no easy way to say what I have to say. I just can’t be married anymore. This has been the hardest decision I have ever made. I know it seems selfish. You are a great person, and I don’t like hurting you, but I need a new start somewhere else.

4. If you have been hanging in there so you wouldn’t hurt your partner.

I know we have discussed this before, and I have tried to make it work, but it’s not working. This is heartbreaking for both of us. It is so difficult to say this, but a clean break is probably the best way for each of us to find happiness again.

5. If you need to get others involved.

I know we both have tried to work this out because we want what is best for our family. We have done all we can, but I really can’t be in this relationship anymore. We have tried to talk about it, but it never goes anywhere. I’m hoping that you will consent to counseling so we can come to some peaceful agreements.

General

When To Stop Talking About It

Here’s a painful truth: most people don’t want to hear about your messy divorce every single day. In fact, talking too much about the ended relationship can actually damage your other relationships, which is the last thing you want to do.

Especially if you’ve been cheated on or truly hurt, you may be one of those people who wants to tell everyone. It can be therapeutic and seem like the best way to cope. But, there’s a big difference between speaking truth by relaying facts to those who ask, and becoming an emotional, venting, wreck every chance you get.

Resist the urge to tell their employer, or post it on social media. Don’t believe us? We see it hurt people in divorce trials in Riverside all the time. Take it from blogger Tracy Schorn, who recently shared these three tips with HuffPost about why you shouldn’t over share:

1) Any communication can, and probably will, be used against you in court. If you’re exposing a legal issue, consult one of our attorneys first. Don’t use Twitter because you think that’s effective. You have to be very careful what you say when you know you’ll be in a courtroom soon.

2) You look crazy. Yes, unfortunately no matter how you tell the story, you’re the one who’ll look nutty. Every single time you bring it (him/her) up, you’ll look more and more desperate for attention and like you’re losing it.

3) Gives them the upper hand. Don’t let your ex affect your mood. He/she doesn’t deserve that anymore. Be strong and don’t let them get to you. Focus on you and your new life.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

General

Top Female Divorce Mistakes | OC Divorce Lawyer

Let’s preface this post by saying that our attorneys do absolutely everything in their power to make sure our clients make zero mistakes when it comes to divorce. But with or without an attorney, people make mistakes. Let’s take a look specifically at the mistakes females make most often, according to HuffPost Divorce.

  1. Financially clueless. There could be a mountain of debt or a mountain or riches and some wives have no idea. It’s very difficult to start the divorce process without an accurate understanding of your family’s finances.
  2. “Getting started” cash. If you’re financially dependent, you can request “temporary maintenance” to cover divorce expenses. But you’ll need cash before you receive that money. Don’t try to start the process empty handed.
  3. Not using an attorney. We could write books on the countless ways that you can truly negatively affect the rest of your life due to ignorance in or out of the courtroom. Unless you have a law degree, don’t think that you’ll know how to divorce someone.
  4. Reacting emotionally. It’s rarely the answer. Stay calm, think rationally, and ask your attorney what the best way to handle the current situation is.
  5. Settling too soon. Reaching a settlement isn’t always a bad idea, but far too many women hate the divorce process, want it to be over, and settle too soon. This leads to them not earning nearly what they should have. Women need to be financially secure for their future, and for their children. Settle when your attorney tells you it’s time.
General

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