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Adultery: Leading Cause of Divorce

Historically, adultery and divorce were much more closely correlated than they are today in the eyes of the law. Adultery is defined as extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage. In the past, in order to get a divorce, the innocent party had to prove that their spouse committed some significant wrongdoing, such as adultery, in order to seek legal approval for the termination of the marriage. While adultery can cause significant pain and emotional distress in a marriage, it is not a significant factor in California divorce law.

Divorces in California are obtained on no-fault grounds, such as irreconcilable differences or the incurable insanity of a spouse, so the spouse asking for a divorce does not have to prove that the other spouse is guilty of any sort of misconduct.

So, if you’re having an extramarital relationship, thinking about divorce and wanting to know if your spouse will get mostly everything because of it, the answer is no.

Bottom line, adultery is a non-issue in California law and is totally irrelevant to the division of property, child support, and spousal support, and custody issues. However, the only time adultery does come into play is if the act is committed in front of a couple’s children.

Regarding finances: If your partner has spent money from your joint bank account on his or her lover, such as paying for an apartment or buying jewelry or a trip, not only could there be a claim for reimbursement, but also a claim for breach of fiduciary duty.

Legally, your partner has misappropriated community money, and that is the crux of the issue. There are specific laws in California as to breach of fiduciary duty and its ramifications. The fiduciary duty between husband and wife allows both spouses full management and control of all community property. Each spouse must make full disclosure of all material facts and information within their knowledge regarding the existence, characterization, and valuation of community assets and debts.

If you are thinking of divorce, contact Holstrom, Block & Parke. With our primary focus in family law, you can expect aggressive and compassionate legal representation. We are ready to put our divorce law knowledge, case experience, and client-friendly approach to work for you. Call us!

Can Obamacare Help Me?

It’s not a secret that divorce among the over-50 crowd is on the rise. If the Affordable Care Act works as intended, the law could prove to be a game-changer, by easing the financial burden of health insurance for divorced people who get dropped from their spouse’s medical plans.

Every year approximately 115,000 women no longer have health insurance as a result of divorce.

This is due in part that they either do not work outside the home or work for employers who do not provide health insurance. A small portion of women do have employer-sponsored coverage but can no longer manage to pay the expensive costs. Many are eligible for post-divorce COBRA health plans, but COBRA is both exorbitantly expensive and is short term, lasting only about 36 months.

Generally people get dropped from their spouse’s plan, so the new legislation will help those with little or no coverage get the care they need to maintain a similar standard of living before the divorce.

Financial problems for divorcees over 50 years old may now be alleviated through Obamacare or the Affordable Care Act. Ex-spouses, left without health insurance after the divorce, many now have affordable options that may lessen the blow of divorce.

Beginning on January 1, 2014, under the Affordable Care Act, post-divorce health-care expenses will decrease for many and become more accessible. Under the new legislation, denying people coverage or increasing their premiums due to pre-existing conditions is prohibited.

This is good for how ex-spouses who can leverage health-care coverage in alimony talks. Under the Affordable Care Act, a government tax credit can go toward an ex-spouses’ health-care coverage, and having this subsidy can be a determinate into spousal support computations.

When initiating divorce proceedings, individuals should obtain a court order to guarantee that health insurance costs will be paid. In addition, couples should research how long-term care insurance may change because of divorce.

Whether you are the person filing or the one being served with divorce papers, you may have many questions about what to expect. When you are going through a divorce there are many unknowns. Your questions can be answered and your uncertainties put to rest with the counsel of a capable Family Law attorney.

Contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke, located in Riverside, San Bernardino, and Orange Counties. Our divorce attorneys will sit down with you and help you plan a course of action that will put you in the best position possible once the divorce is filed.

Staying healthy during the divorce process

No one goes into marriage expecting to go through divorce. But sometimes, for whatever reasons, people need to part ways and move on.

Whether you are the spouse wanting the divorce or the spouse who has been left to deal with the shock of an unwanted divorce, you will need to take steps to protect yourself.

With the divorce rate being so high in California, chances are you or someone you love has been impacted by this typically tumultuous process. Because divorce often involves a major upheaval in your life, whether it’s to relocate, deal with the pressures of becoming a single parent, or helping your children through this transition, this time can make you feel isolated, depressed and angry.

Every decision you make during this process will be guided by three things, including:

  • California divorce laws
  • Your emotional well-being
  • Your spouse’s attitude

The only one of these you have control over is your own emotional well-being. Being emotionally fit will allow you to protect your legal rights. Keeping yourself healthy during a divorce is very challenging, especially for the woman who wears too many hats and allows her well-being to fall to the bottom of her ‘things-to-do list’.

The following are a few helpful hints that will assist you in navigating through this uncharted territory, keeping you healthy along the way.

  1. Don’t fall into a rut – Focus on reaching out to your family and closest friends for support.
  2. Don’t forget about you – Take care of your own needs for your sake and that of your children. Don’t forget to eat and sleep. Go out and do something you enjoy, even if it’s just a walk.
  3. Lighten up if possible – It’s okay to be sad, but try not to let that emotion take over your life. Even though it might be difficult, try to find some humor in your life. Remember, things will get better.

Experiencing a divorce can cause an array of emotions, but the legal aspect of the experience doesn’t have to add more stress. When you have the assistance of askilled and knowledgeable attorney, you will experience a greater feeling of relaxation during the divorce process.

Contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Sissung, Marks & Anderson. We will help you and your family get through this difficult time. Our offices are conveniently located in Riverside, Orange, and San Bernardino Counties.

Children and 'the Tender Years Doctrine'

In child custody cases, most courts are bound to make their decision based on their assessment of what lies in the best interest of the child – whether single custody with the mother, the father, or some form of joint custody.

In most cases, before any evidence is presented, both the mother and father are seen as having an equal right to custody. Sometimes, depending on the age of the child, the judge may take the child’s own preferences into account.

The Tender Years Doctrine is a legal principle which has existed in family law since the late nineteenth century.

This doctrine gradually was adopted in the United States after first appearing in English courts in 1839, presumes that during a child’s tender years from the age of thirteen and under, the mother should have custody of the child. The doctrine often arises in divorce proceedings.

There was a time when mothers came to be seen as having a special ability to nurture their pre-teenaged children. Fathers would leave the house in the early morning and go to work, returning at night – often after the children had been put to bed.

Mothers, on the other hand, did not work; they were home with their children all day or taking them to school, picking them up in the afternoon, or engaging in other activities with them. Awarding a child to a father was almost unheard of.

By 1920, a father who wished to contend for custody of his child would have to demonstrate that the mother was unfit. During the latter part of the 20th century, as a father’s rights movement developed and gender roles began rapidly evolving, the courts began applying the principal of “best interest of the child” in deciding custody cases.

Mothers no longer could argue that their bond with their children was closer than their husbands because now mothers held jobs outside of the house also. Courts began to argue that favoring mother over father in custody cases conflicts with the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution.

Although the Tender Years Doctrine is no longer legally applied in courts, many feel that a bias still exists toward granting custody to mothers rather than fathers, and that fathers still face an uphill battle in seeking sole custody of their children.

If you are a parent, chances are your children are the most important thing in your life. Very few relationships have the emotional attachment that parent-child relationships do.

If you are facing a child custody issue, contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke. When it comes to your children, our attorneys realize the importance of the situation your family is facing and every measure will be taken to come up with a resolution that will suit your family.

Contact one of our offices, located in San Bernardino, Riverside, and Orange Counties.

Divorce vs. Legal Separation

Couples who have been married a long time or couples who rushed into marriage for one reason or another sometimes need a break to better access the situation and their feelings.

Separating from your spouse does not necessarily require court involvement. However, a legal separation may provide some benefits, such as a temporary spousal support order or child visitation guidelines. You remain legally married while choosing to live separate lives.

Unlike divorce, a legal separation does not put an end to the marriage; it enables you to live separately, but remain married. During the time of separation, you have a court order that outlines the rights and responsibilities of each spouse.

You should take steps to protect yourself – even if you’re unsure if divorce or legal separation is the right decision for you and your marriage. With so many important decisions regarding your home, your financial obligations, and your children that need to be made, separating from your spouse can get messy fast.

If you decide to divorce after your separation and your case goes to court, a judge is likely to assume that since you were satisfied with the separation agreement, the agreement should carry over to the divorce settlement agreement. For that reason, it’s important that you come to a separation agreement you can live with long term.

Although a legal separation and divorce have many issues in common there are some advantages to separating rather than divorcing. Those advantages include:

  • It allows you to be apart – away from the conflict of your marriage
  • It allows you to keep your medical benefits

If you are a military spouse, you may want to remain married for 10 years so you can take advantage of benefits set up by the Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act.

No matter where you are – thinking about divorce or in the middle of the divorce process – and are unsure of the next step, ask a divorce attorney to get answers to your legal questions. If you and your spouse have decided that divorce is your best option, contact Holstrom, Block & Parke to discuss how you should deal with the divorce process, divorce laws, and divorce requirements.

How Should I Handle My Retirement Fund?

Divorce is not an easy process for anyone – young or old.

Are you aware that the divorce rate among people over 50 has doubled in the last two decades?

Whether you’re fifty years old and married to the same man for 25 years or you’re only celebrating your third wedding anniversary, it’s never too early or too late to think about retirement accounts and pension plans.

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce, you should begin thinking about these issues today.

Retirement accounts and pension plans are quickly becoming one of the most contested items in divorce and asset division negotiations. For people over 50 years old, this is not a unique situation. Retirement accounts can make up a significant portion of the couple’s net worth, especially in the current economic climate. Because of this, it is important that these accounts are divided fairly to ensure that each spouse has sufficient financial resources for their retirement. To aggressively negotiate your assets get an experienced attorney, it can make all the difference for you in your divorce settlement.

In case you didn’t realize – retirement funds that are added during the marriage, whether through personal contributions or employer matching, are considered to be marital property. Therefore, those funds can be divided among the spouses upon divorce.

There are a few considerations for doing so. The division of a 401(k) plan, as well as other pension plans, requires the creation of a Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO. This order instructs the pension plan administrator on how to pay the non-employee spouse’s share of the benefits.

This document should be created before the divorce is finalized in order to ensure timely processing and payment.

Getting divorced requires additional planning – By putting away extra money for the future, you can retire with the expectation that there will be money to live on and hopefully, some extra for fun and games or the vacation of your dreams.

Once you have a basic understanding of these issues and want to proceed with a divorce, consult with a skilled and experienced family lawyer to help you work through the process of dividing up retirement and pension accounts as part of your final divorce agreement.

Contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Sissung, Marks & Anderson to guide you through these issues so you can focus on moving forward with your life. Submit our online contact inquiry form, and have one of our attorney will get in touch with you.

Can I Keep My Airline Miles?

Reaching a divorce settlement agreement is mostly about dividing marital assets. After all, there’s the home, vehicles, bank accounts, stock portfolios, cash, art, etc.

And, then some of you who are in the process of getting a divorce might be wondering who gets certain marital assets like airline miles. This might seem a bit trivial, but it also can be important to those who fly frequently.

Some of you might think that something like airline miles seems trivial compared to other marital assets like real estate, bank accounts, stocks and bonds, furniture and vehicles. However, for those of you who spend a lot of time flying, those airline miles could really pay off and help you save money. Hundreds of thousands of frequent flyer miles can help contribute to numerous travel trips.

So, how exactly do the airline miles get sorted out? The first step you should take when attempting to divide airline miles is to check the rewards program’s terms and conditions. For example, some programs specifically state in their terms and conditions that points cannot be transferred from one spouse to another in a divorce settlement.

If this is the case, it may be wise to assign a value to the rewards points and then negotiate something of equal value. There may be other ways to divide the miles. Some programs provide cash outs for points, in which case you can collect the cash and then split it. Maybe you can see if the program will divide the points into two separate accounts.

When it comes to negotiating a divorce settlement, airline miles really do come down to money. Think this through completely; don’t be hasty about your decision. If you make a good financial move elsewhere, you might just find you can still take a special trip that you will enjoy.

If you’re going through a divorce and have questions regarding dividing your assets, including your frequent flyer miles, a family law attorney might be able to help you come to a divorce settlement that you can both agree to.

Contact the family law office of Holstrom, Sissung, Marks & Anderson, located in Orange, San Bernardino and Riverside Counties. We might be able to help you negotiate issues such as division of property, child custody, child support and spousal support in a more amicable manner than you would have otherwise.

Divorce and Special Needs Children

Obtaining a divorce is complicated enough, but if you have children, it becomes more difficult. And, if one of those children has special needs, the challenges rise to an entirely different level. Parents have more difficulty establishing a parenting plan, it becomes much harder determining who will be the primary caregiver to their child because it becomes an issue of life long medical needs, personal care, special schooling with tutoring, all with high expenses. Have a Family Law attorney help establish a child custody agreement, this is favored because a judge doesn’t know more than the parents themselves about the child’s needs and what would be in their best interest. By having this prior it ensure that your child will have an easier transition as the divorce process continues.

It is important, for you as the custodial parent, to work together with your ex-spouse to minimize the damage that can affect your child. Review your parenting plan or visitation schedule carefully because it may not work for a child with emotional issues. For example, a special needs child often finds it difficult to deal with change, such as overnight stays in a new environment. They may not understand that they will see the other parent again.

Putting a child in the middle of parental tension is never a good thing and it’s particularly bad to do this with a child who may not fully understand what is happening. Think of the damage you can do to your child. Is playing games with your ex worth that?

Parents often don’t agree on certain issues when it comes to caring and raising their child, especially when it comes to medical care. Parents must prioritize and make sure they can agree on the most important medical issues and maybe give a little on optional matters of less importance.

In addition, child support will probably be an issue. The court may go beyond the standard child support guidelines and order that child support be paid into the child’s adulthood and include:

  • physical, occupational and speech therapy
  • special schools
  • tutoring
  • medication

It is important for your child to understand the changes going on around his or her life.

Some tips include:

  • Using a special calendar to highlight the days that he or she will spend with the other parent
  • Encourage daily communication whenever possible with the other parent
  • Explore technologies such as speed dial to make it easy for your child to call his or her other parent
  • Make sure your ex attends all birthdays and holiday celebrations

There is no doubt divorce affects the lives of children. With very few exceptions, divorcing couples with the help of their attorneys can and should agree on the issues of custody and visitation.

Contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke and let us help you arrive at a plan that works for everyone in your family. We have offices in Riverside, San Bernardino and Orange Counties for your convenience. Click here for all contact information.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce & Bankruptcy go Hand in Hand?

Money problems in a marriage can lead to divorce.

Because many people going through a divorce are also under a lot of financial stress, they often think about the possibility of bankruptcy as a way to keep everything under control. Stress arises from having to pay lawyer and court costs and most importantly, having to cover the expenses of two households rather than just one.

Unfortunately, divorce and bankruptcy

seem to go hand-in-hand for some people.

However, bankruptcy isn’t always the best idea, but if you decide to take that road, you won’t be alone. Bankruptcy filings have increased considerably over the last several years.

If you’re considering filing for bankruptcy along with your divorce, the way you word your divorce settlement can have a lot to do with how the bankruptcy affects your divorce – and vice versa.

How does bankruptcy and divorce fit together? Are you aware that there are different kinds of bankruptcy? The following are the way the issues settle out:

  • The Automatic Stay – Stops all efforts to enforce the collection of debt.
  • Discharge – Is your debt dischargeable? Can you get rid of it?
  • Paying support – Obligations from your divorce to pay support, including spousal and child, is not dischargeable in bankruptcy.
  • Property Settlement – The obligation of a property settlement may or may not be discharged, depending on the circumstances. The debtor must prove that he or she cannot pay the debt and still take care of themselves and their dependents – or that discharging the debt would result in a benefit to the debtor that outweighs the harm that would be caused to the former spouse by non-payment.

Debts that do not get discharged include:

  • Spousal and child support
  • Some obligations for a property settlement
  • Student loans
  • Debts arising from fraud or theft
  • Criminal restitution

If your spouse starts bankruptcy proceedings before your divorce is finalized, you might want to think about filing jointly, especially if most of your debt obligations are in both your names. It is important to note that a joint bankruptcy filing is typically not available to divorced couples, even if much of their debts are held jointly.

The law surrounding divorce and bankruptcy is complicated and each case is different. Whether you need assistance with a divorce or custody dispute, or have fallen on hard times financially and need to file bankruptcy, the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke can help.

We will sit down and discuss your needs and goals with you and then aggressively represent you in and out of court to achieve the best possible outcome. Contact us at one of our conveniently located offices in Orange, Riverside or San Bernardino Counties.

I Want a Family

When you envision parenthood, do you think about little footsteps running around your house? How about crayon drawings hanging on your refrigerator door?

Adoption has helped make the dreams of parenthood come true for countless families in the United States.

But, how do you start? The adoption process has many steps, which may seem a little daunting at first. The following is a step-by-step description on how the process works:

  1. After months or years with infertility issues, determine if adoption is for you.
  2. Make sure you decide on an adoption plan – do you want a relationship with the birth parents or do you want to find a child through an agency?
  3. Choose an adoption professional, such as an experienced family law attorney, to guide you through the process.
  4. Complete an adoption home study, which proves you are ready to adopt a child and provide a safe environment for him or her.
  5. Complete an adoptive parent profile, which describes who you are, why you want to be a parent, the plans for your child, and photos of you and your family.
  6. Find a match – through an agency’s matching service or through your own adoption advertising.
  7. Participate in pre-placement contact – helps the adoptive couple and the prospective birth parents get to know each other before the birth of the baby to ensure their match is a good fit for both parties.
  8. Wherever the birth mother lives, travel to her for the big arrival.
  9. ICPC – Interstate compact on the placement of children requirements – you will need to remain in the state where the child was born until all clearances are finalized; this can last from a few days to a few weeks.
  10. Complete post-placement services – ensures the family and child are adjusting well to one another.
  11. Final hearing – a judge’s final review of the adoption, ensuring everything is complete.

Whether you are considering placing a child for adoption, or building your family through adoption, it is important to have an experienced Family Law attorney guide you through the complicated and complex process.

The Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke provides assistance, legal advice and representation to adoptive parents in a professional caring and supportive manner. Just remember – adoption is the best gift any person can give to a child in need of a permanent family. Get in contact with our firm today!

Visit us today in one of our offices located in Riverside, San Bernardino, and Orange Counties.

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