For many years the US Census and other data suggested that the national divorce rate peaked in the 1970s and has been declining ever since. This may not be true.

Sheela Kennedy and Steven Ruggles from the Minnesota Population Center at the University of Minnesota recently reported numbers that challenges this assumption. They believe, on the contrary, that the divorce rate has been rising over the past 30 years.

Their first argument against the data collected by the Census, and other such sources, is that the quality of the data is poor. They state that even the better data sources have flaws in the methods used to collect information and it’s distorted the divorce rate stats.

The Census also suggested that the divorce rate increased for people in their mid-20s and steadily declined with age. However, recent data suggests that the divorce rate has not been declining as steadily for those over the age of 35. In fact, Kennedy and Ruggles believe that people older than 60 are divorcing at a higher rate than ever.

What’s the real takeaway? Well, for those of us helping couples in Corona and Riverside, it’s that “divorce rates” can’t be the measure of marital stability. We try not to look at divorce as bad, but rather as a chance for positive change. While every long-term relationship ending is a difficult situation, the fact that our clients have the ability to end marriages that aren’t full of love or joy is a good thing. And we’re lucky to be able to help those couples go through the process as easily as possible.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

My marriage is over, but these days, who can afford to move out?

Today, with the economy being the way it is, it turns out that in lieu of divorce, many couples simply choose to live together anyway.

The reason is that they believe they cannot afford to divorce and they choose to live together for financial reasons. After all, who today, can afford to keep up two residences? So, what can you do?

Not only is breaking up hard to do, but it’s expensive. A survey taken a few years ago by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers “found that in rotten economic times, divorce rates take a dive.”

In addition, with nearly one in five homes worth less than what’s owed on it, couples are forced to remain living together under the same roof since moving out is becoming a financial impossibility for many. How does one cope with this type of situation?

If abuse isn’t an issue, with a little amount of planning, a couple can live together, but separately, under one roof. First, ground rules must be set. Perhaps a neutral third party can help with that. As yourself the following questions:

• Will you keep family dinners or eat separately?
• Who will do the chores, cooking, cleaning?
• Who will attend to the children? Take them to school, pick them up?
• What are the actual living arrangements?

Once those questions are answered and handled, discuss your daily expenses. Do you want to keep your joint bank accounts or open separate ones? You must decide on how you will pay monthly household bills including the mortgage. Discuss other monthly expenses – expenses to keep the house running and your children fed, clothed and taken care of.

Credit is another story. Shred those joint cards and get new ones in your name only. If there is a balance involved, and you cannot afford to pay it off, ask the bank to freeze the account so neither party can charge anymore.

Now, if you just can’t live with your soon-to-be ex-spouse and want to divorce, live without him or her, but don’t think you can afford it, there are things you can do to minimize the effect of divorce:

• Attempt to fill out the divorce forms on your own
• Find someone who can put a value to your assets
• Ask a realtor for an estimate on what your home is valued at
• You can probably find an online child support calculator – determine what the support will be that you receive or have to pay
• Look for alternative dispute resolution techniques

You have options. Try to resolve as many family issues as possible with your spouse. This will reduce your attorney’s billable hours and your overall expenses. This may seem a challenge, but it can be done with a little work and a little planning.

If you still have unanswered questions regarding a divorce, contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke for the answers and the options you have before you. We are conveniently located in Riverside, San Bernardino and Orange Counties.

Call us and speak to an attorney the consultation is free and confidential, or visit us online and submit our contact form.

When Americans think about taxes, confusion and frustration are usually two common emotions associated with the word. Where are my taxes going, and who are all the individuals that are benefiting from my hard earned money? But what if I told you that military retirement funds are now paying for the benefits of veterans and divorce?

According to an article entitled “Military Retirement Pay Veterans Benefits and Divorce Make for Tax Confusion,” a man by the name of Elmer Nuss, was divorced in the year of 1998. However, the court ordered that one half of his military retirement funds be paid to his ex-wife. According to federal law, a state court judge can order a split in military retirement funds be paid to the ex-spouse, as long as it is consistent with state Family Law principles. On the other hand, if a spouse is receiving disability benefits, it cannot be distributed to a former spouse. However, disability funds can be taken and use for spousal or child support debts.

The law can allow for a veteran to receive VA benefits, but that in turn reduces the amount of retirement pay the individual is currently receiving. This can cause issues for a spouse that is in need of a military divorce. One way to prevent this from occurring is fully educating yourself and entering into a property agreement that fully addresses what occurs when a veteran’s retirement benefits are reduced.

The way military retirement is divided to pay veteran’s benefits varies from case to case. Specifically regarding Elmer Nuss’ case, he did have to pay to his ex-spouse, but this is not true for every case.

If you are concerned about what will happen to your retirement fund after you divorce, or want more information about which retirement plans require what course of action, talk to an experienced Family Law attorney. Schedule an appointment with a law firm knowledgeable in divorce, money and property. Get a clear understanding of the law that may affect you if you are thinking about getting divorce.

We have helped many couples in Riverside County through a divorce and some are better than others. Everyone agrees that it isn’t a fun process, but it also doesn’t need to be looked at as “bad.” Here are 6 of the best things about divorce, according to a recent post by DivorcedMom’s Lizzy Smith:

1. It’s done. Churchill said “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Whatever you’re struggling with in your marriage, you won’t need to deal with that (hopefully) once the divorce is finalized.
2. The whole bed! Stretch out, lay sideways, don’t listen to snoring… not sharing a bed throughout the night can be wonderful!
3. Purging the ugly. You know all that awful stuff your ex kept around that always annoyed yet—throw it all out! Or make him/her take it. Your space is now your own to do whatever you want with!
4. No more fighting. As great as relationships can be, everyone fights and everyone has low moments. While the peaks and valleys are worth it… no more valleys! That’s something to celebrate.
5. Being honest. Most people have an extremely hard time being honest about their struggles and the emotional turmoil that may be going on in their life during a rocky marriage. Once the divorce is over, many people find it much easier to be open and honest with their friends/family about what they went through. That’s when the emotional healing can start to take place.
6. Finding passion again. Remember that excitement you once felt for your ex and how you got butterflies and felt real love and longing? You have the chance to find that again with someone else, and make it work/last this time. It’s a terrific opportunity to rejoice about.