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Long Distance Parenting

It’s never easy to be away from your children – whether for a few hours, a few days or most of the time.

When parents are together, moving their family isn’t usually a problem. The problem, however, occurs when parents are divorced and one parent is made to be a long-distant parent.

Long-distance parenting is one of the most difficult challenges facing parents who go through divorce. With the divorce rate being so high, it’s an experience that thousands of divorced families go through every day.

If you are a parent contemplating

relocation to another city or state, you must understand that there are consequences for your children. After all, children rely on their parents to make good decisions for them and children also require a daily dose of love, attention and affection.

Keep in mind that not only will you become a long-distant parent, but your children will become long-distant children – your relationship will very likely change. Children lose out on having both parents attending their school or extra-circular events, helping them with their homework, being in their cheering section when need be. Children lose the balance that having two parents provides.

How do I make this work, you ask? If you have considered all of your alternatives and you have no choice but to move, then you and your ex-spouse must work really hard to ensure that the relationship between you and your children continues.

Bear in mind – this is not going to be easy. It requires integrity, compassion, focus and a commitment to the parent-child relationship. You must give it your all. Regardless of how far you are from your children, if you focus completely on them and what they need in order to thrive, it will become easier to take the actions that will meet their needs.

An important key to maintain a strong, healthy relationship with your children is communication with not only them, but your ex. When you lived under one roof, you knew if they were sick, what they did in school, who their friends are, or if they wanted to pierce one of their body parts.

Don’t let communication about daily life change. As the long-distant parent, you must work to maintain your relationship with your children. Unless you keep communications open on a regular basis, you’ll miss a lot about what’s going on in your children’s lives.

Keep your conversations going – use e-mail, text or webcams, in addition to the telephone. If possible, visit, even if it’s for a few hours or overnight.

Even if you reside in a different state from your children, an attorney can protect your legal rights as a parent.

Are you seeking permission to relocate, want to prevent a relocation, or simply need a child custody plan to accommodate for long-distance visitation, the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke have experience assisting parents, such as yourself, in developing parenting plans that protect your parental rights.

One of the primary functions of the family court system is to protect the best interests of children in divorce and post-divorce matters. Different considerations apply to visitation schedules when the parents live next door, across town, in another county, in another state, or even in another country. Our attorneys have experience in all of these types of cases and are here to help you.

If you have any questions or concerns about visitation or any other divorce-related issues, do not hesitate to contact our attorneys today. We are conveniently located in San Bernardino, Riverside and Orange Counties.

Having Children Out Of Wedlock

I have been asked what rights each parent has if the child is born out of wedlock.

Once upon a time it was unheard of to have children when a couple was not married. It was frowned upon; it was considered to be a “sin.” It was not that long ago when babies followed marriage and couples would marry upon discovery that the woman was pregnant.

Today is different. Society has changed. Today we have the largest number of unwed parents in our history, including many celebrities, such as Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Although society has accepted this trend, the law has not. It may not affect multi-millionaire unwed celebrity parents, but it does have an adverse effect on the average unwed parent.

It used to be when a girl got pregnant, the dad would call for a “shotgun” wedding – insist that the boy marry his daughter or else. Today, very few know what that expression means, let alone attend one.

Things have changed in society – many individuals are putting off marriage until a later date or not considering it at all. Living together without a marriage license seems to be ‘in’ these days. There are still couples committed to each other, but not in marriage.

Having a child out of wedlock can present legal ramifications, the most important being financial obligations and custody issues.

Having a child presents financial issues, such as child support, childcare, medical insurance. This does not only apply to the mother, but also to the father, especially when the couple brings a child into this world but they are not married – maybe they’re living together, maybe they’re not.

In the case of a couple that isn’t totally committed to each other, the father might be unwilling to pay child support; maybe he’s not sure the child is his. The paternity must first be established.

When a relationship doesn’t work out, the couple must go to court to establish custody, both legal and physical. This may cause all sorts of disputes, such as the lifestyle of one or both parents, the ability of each parent to care for the child. California courts apply the same criteria for custody disputes between unmarried parents as they do with married, but divorcing parents. The best interests of the child are the number one priority of the court.

Parentage cases can lead to expensive battles between the parents. If you are choosing to have a child out of wedlock to avoid financial or legal battles – think again.

If you have questions about raising a child out of wedlock, contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke because out attorneys are dedicated to protecting your parental rights while helping you make decisions that are in the best interests of your child.

Call today for a free phone consultation: we have offices in Riverside, Orange, and San Bernardino Counties.

Spousal Support & Cohabiting

Spousal support is often the largest financial obligation you will incur as part of your divorce.

Cohabitation refers to a couple living together in a romantic relationship without the benefits of marriage. In the aftermath of a divorce, if you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it can give your ex the opportunity to stop paying spousal support.

Couples are encouraged to sign a cohabitation agreement detailing their obligations and rights to each other, and defining their liability and property rights. Since oral agreements may be difficult to prove, it is advised that couples consult an experienced Family Law attorney before entering into any agreement.

How about the person paying spousal support to his or her former spouse and now that spouse is living with another person?

According to the California Family Code 4337:

  • Except as otherwise agreed by the parties in writing, the obligation of a party under an order for the support of the other party terminates upon the death of either party or the remarriage of the other party.

4338. In the enforcement of an order for spousal support, the court shall resort to the property described below in the order indicated:

  • The earnings, income, or accumulations of either spouse, while living separate and apart from the other spouse, which would have been community property if the spouse had not been living separate and apart from the other spouse.
  • The community property.
  • The quasi-community property.
  • The other separate property of the party required to make the support payments.

If you are the person trying to cut off the spousal support award, you bear the burden of proof to the court that your former spouse is living with another person, and not just spending the night. You may wish to apply for a modification of the amount. You can plead to the court to terminate the support or at least lower it.

The laws surrounding divorce and spousal support can be complicated. For more detailed, specific information, please contact an experienced family law attorney in the law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke to discuss your options.

We are Riverside’s Top Rated Family & Divorce Attorneys: Experienced, Aggressive, and Determined to Protect Your Rights

We are conveniently located in Orange, Riverside, and San Bernardino counties.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Mediation vs. Litigation: Child Support

Unlike other family law issues, child support orders tend to be fairly straightforward.

Over time circumstances may change and child support may need to be modified. The parent requesting the modification may choose to pursue litigation or mediation. Which is the right process for you?

Mediating Child Support Orders

If both parents are open to the need for modification and don’t anticipate any problems, mediation may be an excellent choice for resolving this issue. Mediation is using the services of a neutral third party whose purpose is to help both spouses reach an agreement.

Pros include:

  • less costly
  • less emotionally draining
  • moves more quickly
  • you have more control over outcome

Cons include:

  • both parties must agree to all terms and conditions
  • if agreement cannot be reached, you will have to go through litigation

Litigating Child Support Orders

However, if the issue is going to be contested by the other party, litigation is the road to take. Litigation is the process of taking your case to court.

Pros include:

  • if you are not satisfied with outcome, you can appeal the case
  • may be a better option when emotional or physical abuse is involved

Cons include:

  • litigation can become very expensive
  • the case could last for many months, even years
  • litigation can further strain a relationship, causing resentment

To further understand the pros and cons of mediation and litigation and to determine what is right for you, contact a knowledgeable family law attorney at Holstrom, Block & Parke who can guide you through the process in fair and focused ways.

We are located in both Riverside and Orange County.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Does Divorce Make You Happy?

Most people that are in a bad marriage believe they have only two choices:

  1. Stay married and continue to be miserable
  2. Get a divorce and be happy.

A recent study conducted at the University of Chicago found no evidence that unhappily married couples who divorced were happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. In addition, the study showed that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later.

The study used approximately 5,000 married adults – about 650 reported being unhappily married. Five years later, some of the people had divorced or separated, and some were still married.

The bottom line – divorce didn’t reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery. So, why doesn’t divorce typically make adults happier? Even though divorce usually eliminates some stresses and potential harm, divorce may very well create others as well.

The decision to divorce sets in motion a large number of events over which an individual has little control. These events, including the response of one’s spouse to divorce, the reactions of your children, and finances, most likely will affect his or her emotional well-being.

If you are thinking about divorce and have many questions, it is important to contact a skilled family lawyer at the law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke before doing anything. Our attorneys will guide you through your issues so you can focus on moving forward with your life.

We are conveniently located in Riverside and Orange Counties.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Foster Care & Adoption

There are many displaced children in America – children who go from home to home through the foster care system – looking for a little love and attention – a place that’s safe – and someone who cares.

Are you a foster parent who has a desire to grow your family through adoption? Foster care adoptions offer a number of joys and challenges as well.

Among the joys are is the satisfaction of helping a child who deserves a loving and permanent home, and the desire to do the right thing for a child in need. The potential to change a child’s life is priceless.

You must remember that there are challenges involved. Adoption is a permanent step and is more of a time and financial commitment than fostering was. You may end up dealing with emotional and psychological issues caused by the child’s previous environment and past.

Adopting a child is a tremendous, life-changing step for anyone to undertake.

If you are considering making your foster child a permanent family member in your home, contact an experienced family lawyer at the law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke to make this step easier.

Our attorneys are dedicated to helping foster care families adoption the children who have been placed with them. We know how important it is that these children have security and stability in their lives.

Don’t wait to begin the process of extending your love to someone who needs it; let us work with you to make the relationship binding between you and your child. Call us at an office near you; we have offices in Riverside and Orange Counties.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Child Neglect

Child neglect refers to the failure by the parent, guardian, or caregiver to provide needed, age-appropriate care even though financially able to do so.

Neglect is usually ongoing inadequate care that can be observed by individuals in close contact with the child, such as physicians, day care personnel, relatives, or neighbors. Most will get involved and report suspected neglect to the authorities. Once the child is in school, personnel often notice indicators of child neglect such as poor hygiene, not enough weight gain for their age, inadequate medical care, or frequent absences from school.

According to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, more than 800,000 children in the United States were victims of abuse and neglect in a given year. Neglect comes in several different forms, including:

  • Physical neglect – the parent does not provide the child with basic necessities, such as adequate food, clothing and shelter. It can also include child abandonment, inadequate supervision, rejection of a child, and failure to provide adequate safety, physical, and emotional needs.
    Physical neglect can severely impact a child’s development by causing failure to thrive, malnutrition, cuts, bruises, burns, serious illness, and a lack of low self-esteem
  • Emotional neglect – when a parent engages in chronic spousal abuse in the child’s presence. It includes allowing the child to use drugs or alcohol, belittling the child, and withholding all types of
    affection and love. In addition, the child’s needs are totally ignored and at times the child is even threatened with severe punishment.
  • Medical neglect – the failure to provide appropriate health care – placing the child at risk of being seriously ill, disabled, or even dying.

If you suspect child neglect or child abuse is happening to your child or someone you know, you are required by law to report it to the local child protective services agency in your county.

If you are facing child neglect charges it is important to protect yourself by retaining the services of a capable Family Law attorney. Let us put our legal skills and experience to work for you and see if we can diminish your charges or have them dropped altogether. Talk to the best in the business Holstrom, Block & Parke Family Law & Divorce Attorneys now with offices in Riverside and Orange Counties.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Defining My Relationship

My partner and I decided to live together; we are not married. Do we need to have some sort of agreement to keep issues on the up and up?

Cohabitation is when two partners have integrated their residence, property, and daily lives. It can be the first step towards marriage, or it can be an arrangement for couples who don’t want the commitment of marriage.

Did you know that unless you define your relationship through a legal agreement, the law may view you as strangers in the case of a breakup or death? By choosing cohabitation versus marriage, you are foregoing certain rights and protections provided to you in a marital union.

You and your partner can create a ‘living together’ agreement (or cohabitation agreement). It’s designed for couples, such as yourself, stating your legal rights and responsibilities during your relationship and what happens if it should end.

Couples enter into a cohabitation agreement if they wish to provide a plan for things, such as:

  • Sharing living expenses
  • Division of joint property if the relationship is terminated
  • Retaining separate property acquired prior to, and after, the execution of the agreement

If you enter into a cohabitation agreement, it is important to cover the following:

  • Division of property, including the residence, in the event of a breakup or death
  • Obligating financial support
  • Handling debts
  • Defining support, custody, or visitation rights if minor children are involved
  • Specifying health insurance coverage and the right to make decisions in case of emergency
  • Guardianship in the event of incapacitation

Are you in a long-term relationship? Just because you’re living together doesn’t automatically entitle you to the rights and protections afforded to married couples.

Contact the experienced Family Law attorneys at Holstrom, Block & Parke to learn more about the advantages of creating a cohabitation agreement. It will ensure that you and your partner are protected while clarifying your understanding of your relationship.

We have offices in Riverside and Orange Counties.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Spousal Support Vs. Property Settlement

Are cash settlements subject to tax?

In a divorce, it depends on how it is classified. If it is spousal support, it is taxable to the recipient and tax deductible by the spouse who pays it. If it is a property settlement, it is not taxable or deductible.

How do you know if your support which is taxable versus a property settlement that isn’t?

It is important for a divorcing couple to distinguish between payments that are for spousal support and those that are part of a property settlement.

This is critical, if for no other reason, than tax consequences. Spousal support is different from property distributions, which are usually without tax consequences to either spouse. Failure to properly distinguish spousal support can result in drastic consequences to the spouse paying support.

When it comes to property division, the terms and conditions of an agreement are negotiated as to who gets what. If one of the parties gets remarried, the property division is unaffected.

Support on the other hand, is often modifiable, based on changing circumstances in the future, such as changes in employment or retirement. In addition, if the recipient gets remarried the spousal support is terminated.

Spousal support continues during the lives of the spouses; property settlements are inheritable and can be enforced by the decedent’s estate.

According to IRS Publication 504, most of the rules will likely be unchanged from year to year. However, they could and if they do, it is important to speak to an experienced attorney for the help you need.

Contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke if you have questions about how divorce might affect your holdings and financial status. We can help guide you through these trying decisions. We are located in Riverside and Orange Counties for your convenience.

Domestic Violence: When Men Are The Victims

No one should have to put up with violence or abuse. Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone – anywhere.

Domestic violence doesn’t always refer to a woman as the victim. Even though 96 percent of the cases apply to women, the other 4 percent involves women committing domestic abuse against a man.

Statistics from the National Violence Against Women Prevention Research Center state that more than 800,000 men are victims of domestic violence every year – about half the rate of women. This means that there is a male victim of domestic violence every 37.8 seconds.

Even though there are many programs out there to help women, there are few for men to attend. This is strange because men are abused in the same manner as women: emotionally, verbally, financially, and even physically.

Most of the time abuse works its way into the relationship. A first time meeting may show the abuser to be charming, complimentary, and generous. However, over time, he or she may turn threatening, use abusive language, deliberately frighten the abused, and increase his or her aggressive attempts of control.

If abuse or violence is part of your everyday life, you don’t have to put up with it. Talk to a relative, friend, or professional counselor. In an emergency, call the police. In addition, you can call the National Domestic Violence Helpline at 1-800-799-SAFE for help.

If you are a man being abused by a woman, don’t be embarrassed to seek legal help. Don’t wait; if you need someone to help you have a voice, and understand how to obtain a Temporary Protective Order consider the Riverside Family Law attorney from Holstrom, Block & Parke. One of our attorneys can walk you through the process of getting permanent or long-term protection.

Even though the process may be frightening and stressful,

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

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