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Thinking About Divorce

Do you want to get divorced? Are you asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”

The decision to divorce is critical, with lifelong consequences. If you are still contemplating divorce, you should determine what may or may not lie ahead. As you continue to contemplate divorce and board the emotional roller coaster of deciding whether or not to end your marriage, you should first recognize that divorce doesn’t just happen overnight – it starts with the mere notion of separation – maybe after an argument or several disagreements relating to your parenting skills.

One of the toughest parts of going through the back-and-forth in your head is not knowing much about divorce or not knowing what comes next. By preparing for a divorce before it actually happens, you can reduce much of the stress and conflict that many people face when they start the divorce process. Planning ahead allows you to make sound decisions and start preparing for your life after divorce, as well as helping you to avoid some of the post-divorce issues.

You need to come up with a plan. Determine a fair and realistic list of goals so that you can determine what you want out of the divorce. When the idea of separating becomes more real, it may be time to contact an attorney to discuss the steps of the divorce process.

Contact Holstrom, Block & Parke. We’ll help you establish a game plan.

Planning for Your Divorce

There are a number of things you should do now before you begin legal proceedings. We help clients organize their personal and professional finances before they begin the divorce process. Pre-divorce planning is recommended for married parties of all incomes. It is time to get organized. The more prepared you are with your assets, debts, and income, the sooner you can enter the family law process of dissolving your marriage. To schedule an initial consultation with a divorce planning lawyer, contact us. Divorce is a systematic process that requires documentation of important financial information, estate planning documents, and more. By gathering these documents now, you can save time further along in the process.Your pre-divorce planning may include:

  • Organizing assets and debts
  • Budgeting
  • Gathering appropriate financial documents
  • Identify your separate versus community property

Couples with children should think about establishing a temporary child custody arrangement that will stay in effect until child custody is determined by the court. Effective pre-divorce planning can help you plan for your future financial needs and those of your family. The courts do not typically have the authority to give orders for necessities like rent, food, and utilities. With proper pre-divorce planning, we can help you establish how these important daily needs will be taken care of.

We can help you determine your options in a variety of matter. In the event that the other spouse is not cooperating, we can assist you in mapping out important decisions about your future. Answers to such things as where you are going to live or what car you will drive can become very problematic if your spouse it unwilling to cooperate with you. Guidance from our attorneys is critical if you are facing tough practical questions about your life during and after separation and divorce.

The divorce attorneys at Holstrom, Block & Parke understand the deeply personal concerns you are facing. We are committed to providing you with experienced, professional and compassionate personal service. Call us at one of our conveniently located offices today!

Divorce

Divorce at Tax Time

Divorce is one of the hardest things that you may ever go through, both emotionally and financially.

While you are focused on your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you shouldn’t forget to keep an eye on another entity that may be after a larger chunk of your assets thanks to your split: The IRS.

Taxes impact nearly every aspect of American life, and divorce is no exception.

It’s often said that there are three parties to a divorce: 1) the husband, 2) the wife, and 3) Uncle Sam. Turns out, divorce has a huge impact on your taxes, and knowing what’s at stake can help you avoid major complications down the road.

While couples negotiate and finalize their divorce, few take time to discuss the tax impact of the decisions they are considering.

Divorce, which is difficult both mentally and emotionally, can be made worse by tax consequences foreseen and unforeseen. Tax consequences often follow every decision made in a divorce, settlement agreement or marital dispute resolution for many years.

Tax consequences are most likely from the distribution of property in a divorce. Two considerations are:

  1. Tax consequences which include incomes and deductions of the spouses, numbers of dependents, credits, tax rates, and the amount of tax paid to avoid penalties
  2. Legal liabilities, particularly those associated with a married couple filing jointly

Divorce, support and property settlement involves money and property. The wealthier the couple is, the more tax questions and issues come into play in a divorce.

Here are some of the things to keep in mind as you go through the divorce process:

  • Filing status – The IRS wants to know your legal marital status as of the end of the year you’re filing for.
  • Exemption for children – Who gets to claim exemptions for the children, can make a huge difference to your tax bill.
  • Spousal / Child support – Cash payments are deductible by the person who makes them and are counted as income for the person who receives them.
  • Retirement accounts – Your spouse may be entitled to part of your IRA or 401(k).
  • Property transfers – Neither spouse will realize any capital gain or loss or other tax consequences from receiving or giving up property in a divorce decree.
  • Community property – You may be treated as having earned part of your former spouse’s income during the year in which you divorce because California is a community property state.

If you have questions regarding your divorce and tax consequences that may be in store for you, contact the Family Law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke for the answers you need. Call our offices today and get your settlement done right the first time. We can help you take advantage of the many tax advantages available to divorcing couples, and help you avoid the pitfalls.

Call us today at one of our conveniently located offices in Riverside, San Bernardino or Orange County.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

Your Divorce- Your Behavior

When someone is facing difficult questions like, “Should I get a divorce?” or “How should I behave around my children during the process?” he or she will undoubtedly feel immense anxiety and apprehension.

It is tough to answer these types of questions, not only because these questions are emotionally challenging, but also because it is hard to make decisions when you have limited knowledge of what a divorce entails.

Going through a divorce is not an easy time for the couple, but it can also be especially tough for the children.

If you love your children, avoid involving them in your divorce issues or custody disputes. No matter how angry or upset you are with your former partner, here are some helpful tips to remember when dealing with your children:

  • Never poison your children’s minds against the other parent by discussing his or her shortcomings.
  • Continuing anger toward your former spouse can injure your children far more than the divorce itself.
  • Never engage in conflict with your former spouse in the presence of your children.
  • Assure your children they are not to blame for the breakup.
  • Do not force your children to take sides or get between the two of you.
  • Be direct and honest in telling your children what is happening and why.
  • Your children need consistent control and direction.
  • Encourage your children to spend time with their other parent.
  • Never refuse an opportunity to see or spend time with your children.
  • Do not interfere with your former spouse’s plans with the children.
  • Never miss an important date – birthday, Christmas, graduation, school events
  • Be prompt in paying child support as ordered
  • Think first of your children’s present and future emotional and mental well-being before acting.

If you have legal needs involving divorce, family law, estate planning and probate law. Holstrom, Block & Parke are experienced attorneys, aggressive attorneys, determined to protect your rights. At our firm, you’ll find that our divorce & family lawyers actually know how to listen and that they will be responsive to your concerns and questions. They’ll also work closely with you to identify the issues that are most important to you and to find solutions that make legal, emotional and financial sense for you and your family. You will be well informed of the status of your case and you will know what to expect every step of the way.

To schedule an initial consultation call us directly to one of our Southern California Locations.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

Violating Court Orders

It is a reasonable assumption that after a divorce is finalized and the court has sorted through issues of child support, spousal support, child custody and visitation that things would run smoothly under the influence of the legal orders.

However, this is not always the case, and other avenues are needed to compel a former spouse to comply with court orders. A court order is a legal decree in which the court dictates that a person must carry out a specific action. Violating such orders is punishable in California by a fine or imprisonment.

In California, a divorce judgment can only be as strong as the execution and enforcement of the court-mandated orders. Violating a court order, particularly in a family court where matters of enforcing child support/custody are concerned, is a foolish thing to do.

Courts issue orders compelling people to do certain things for a wide variety of purposes, but all share at least one thing in common – violation is subject to penalty.

If an individual violates the divorce decree, the other party can seek remedial measures by filing a contempt motion with the court. Defying a court order is considered contempt of court. Examples include, but are not limited to:

  • Failure to pay child support
  • Failure to pay spousal support
  • Failure to comply with the court-ordered visitation schedule

If your ex-spouse has violated or is violating divorce orders, or if you are being accused of violating a divorce order, contact an experienced divorce attorney at the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke for the care, support, and personal attention you need at this time.

Failure to meet the terms of a divorce can have serious and unwanted consequences. For more general information about divorce in California visit us online to our Divorce Practice Center. To schedule an appointment and speak to an attorney submit our contact form or call one of our law offices during normal business hours.

We are located in Riverside, San Bernardino and Orange County for your convenience.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Enforcing Court Orders / Family Law

Your Relationship will Change - Not End

How many times have I heard a divorcing parent say, “I just want this to be over?”

Surprise! When two individuals divorce and there are children involved, it is never over.

The divorce process usually entails having the property valued and divided, the debts allocated between both parties, a custody plan is developed and support is established.

Soon after, you receive a document called a “Final Decree.”

However, in many cases, the family home has to be sold, making it necessary for the couple to continue to cooperate in order to obtain the most advantageous sale possible. While the couple waits for the home to be sold, they must make sure the property is maintained and the mortgage is paid. Lives change all the time, making it necessary to review and adjust the child custody plan from time to time. The support may need to be adjusted if one or both parent’s incomes change; what about the children’s needs changing?

In a divorce that involves children, the divorced parents must continue to keep one another informed of decisions they make regardless of how hard that may be. Often they must reach agreements before changes can be carried out, such as a change in residence or even a change in employment.

Don’t forget – every change you might make as a parent has an impact on the lives of your former spouse and your children. This requires ongoing interaction and communication with each other. If you cannot cooperate with your ex-spouse and decide to make changes without consenting him or her first, you can very well find yourself back in court litigating the aftermath of the unilateral change.

You still need to interact after your children have grown.

Did you forget about graduations, weddings, and births of grandchildren?

Just because you have a piece of paper called “Final Decree” doesn’t mean you and your former spouse will never see each other again. You need to realize that even though your divorce changed your relationship with your ex, it did not end it. Since you two have children together, you are connected to each other forever. Why not make it as peaceful as possible?

Keeping a Good Relationship

A bitter divorce or a vindictive parent relationship can have permanent, negative implications on a child’s social life. It’s been shown that children who experience unhappy situations during their growing-up years (like a divorce) find it harder to sustain social relations because it is difficult for them to maintain intimacy with others. Not only can they develop an inability to successfully build relationships can also result in less academic and professional success. Additionally, children who experience these types of situations early on in life are more likely to suffer from depression, alcoholism, and drug abuse.

Knowing this, many parents stay married for the sake of their children. However, this doesn’t sidestep the issue because an unhappy marriage can be just as destructive and damaging to your children as a divorce. The only way to address these issues is for parents to maintain a cordial or, at the very least, neutral working relationship, and to co-parent in a cooperative manner even after their marriage is dissolved.

Do you want to know the key to success after divorce? The answer is to avoid criticizing your former partner in front of your children. Don’t you think your children will notice when you constantly criticize their other parent? They aren’t stupid; they have ears and eyes. Even if your child is too young to make these connections right now, he or she will eventually. So, remember, when you badmouth your ex-spouse, you ultimately hurt your own credibility with your children.

Whether your divorce involved personal or financial betrayal, try to get past it. Although your divorce ended your marriage, it didn’t sever the connections you still have when it comes to your children. You gain nothing by holding on to your resentment and that resentment can very well poison your relationship with your children.

If you cannot control your hurtful feelings about your former spouse, try:

  • Channeling your anger in a more positive direction, such as exercising, mediation, yoga, or housecleaning
  • Avoiding face-to-face meetings – use the phone, texting, or e-mail to communicate whenever possible
  • Not allowing your ex to provoke you
  • To remember you share children
  • Making a truce between you and your ex

If you have questions or concerns regarding divorce or any other family issue, please contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke. We can help you move on to the next phase in your life. Schedule an appointment for you free initial confidential consultation, you can also visit us online and submit our contact form.

After Divorce / Divorce

The Truth About Divorce Strategies

Even in Corona or Riverside far from the Hollywood Hills, we’ve all heard, and probably made fun, Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling” statement about her divorce. But what does it all mean? Writer Erin Mantz recently shared some insight with HuffPost Divorce. Mantz believes that most of the tips and theories about how to divorce are simply fluff words or buzz terms.

Every parent divorcing has a “strategy” whether they realize it or not. Divorcing is a challenge and co-parenting is certainly a learning process. So which strategy should you believe in?

Mantz believes divorce is not rocket science and you don’t need a Ph.D to understand how to do it right. Here are the three takeaways you need to remember:

  1. Don’t Abandon Your Kids: Your children had two parents before the divorce or separation and they should still have two (in most circumstances). Your kids might try to push you or push your ex away, but remember that’s probably not best for them. Do everything you can to make sure they are lucky enough to have two active parents in their lives.
  2. Don’t Fight In Front of The Kids: Holding your tongue may be a challenge, but if you expect your children to learn self-control, practice what you preach. Being divorced or separated doesn’t mean that fighting or bickering in front of your kids is acceptable—in fact, it may even be worse. Try to create a happy, peaceful co-parenting environment.
  3. Stop Pretending: If you try to act like your co-parenting situation is a cakewalk, your kids will know. You can hold back some of your emotions, but don’t like it isn’t a challenge. If you aren’t honest with them, they may think you’re hiding even more than you are. Protect their feelings, but be honest.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

Divorcing in Your 20's

Our grandparents got married when they were 18, but that doesn’t mean we should. In fact, studies show that the sooner you get married, the more likely it is you’re headed for divorce. Married at 22 and divorced at 28 is an all too common scenario. And while that may seem awful, we’re sure you’ll learn a lot about yourself in that rollercoaster of a decade.

Susie Moore was divorced in her 20’s and she recently shared the following things that experience taught her:

  1. There are no mistakes. Every experience is just that—an experience. And they’re all opportunities to learn and grow. Don’t regret your first marriage- learn from it.
  2. Follow your heart. You’ll learn that following your heart, which told you this marriage won’t last forever and ending the marriage, was the smartest decision you could’ve made. Continue down that track and let your heart guide you to make the right decisions in love.
  3. The ending can still be happy. A divorce doesn’t have to be horribly bitter and dramatic, leaving you with an enemy for an ex. In fact, divorce can be fairly easy and not leave you feeling empty and lost. Shoot for that.
  4. You can always start over. Don’t take another marriage lightly, or any major decision for that matter… but realize that this life is yours to life and you can hit the re-do button almost always if you decide to.
  5. You’ll learn a lot about yourself. You might think you were a close to perfect husband or wife, but an early divorce and a chance to re-marry will teach you just how much better you could’ve been. Don’t beat yourself up for it, but learn and grow from that experience. It will help your next relationship be that much stronger.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

Helping Children Cope

Children look to their parents to help make sense of the world they live in.

For children of any age, divorce can be stressful and confusing. Many children feel uncertain as to their future; some feel angry at the prospect of their mom and dad splitting up – one leaving the household

While parents may be devastated or relieved by the divorce, children are invariably frightened and confused by the threat to their security. Divorce can be misinterpreted by children unless parents tell them what is happening, how they are involved and not involved, and what will happen down the road. Some children even believe they have caused the conflict between their parents.

There are too many children who have experienced the dissolution of their family by the process of divorce. Did you know that 50 percent of children are growing up in a single parent environment? Children need their parents in order for them to develop physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Divorce brings out the worst in people – they make mistakes, they sometimes lie, they resort to buying their love or demeaning the other parent. In their need to move on with their own lives, they may sometimes leave behind their children’s.

It doesn’t have to be this way. As a parent, you can make the process and its effects less painful for your children. Helping your children cope with divorce and attending to all of their needs with a reassuring attitude, means stability for them.

As a parent, it’s normal to feel uncertain about how to give your children the right support during your divorce, but you can do it; you can help your children emerge from it feeling loved, confident, and strong.

These are a few ways to help your children adjust to divorce:

  • Have patience
  • Give reassurance
  • Listen to what your children have to say
  • Don’t mess with their daily routines – gives them stability and structure; shows you care
  • Try to maintain a friendly relationship with your ex to avoid stress

In California, family law judges place the highest priority on protecting the children’s best interests during divorce. When issues regarding children arise, parents often have a difficult time doing what is truly best for their children’s welfare because they are so angry.

However, with the help of an experienced family law attorney, you can determine what best suits your family situation. Contact the compassionate family attorneys at Holstrom, Block & Parke. We will keep your children’s welfare as the top priority throughout your divorce. Get in touch with us today, and discuss your case.

We have offices in Riverside, Orange and San Bernardino Counties for your convenience.

Divorce

What is a No-Fault Divorce?

Divorce is probably one of the most traumatic and stressful events that a person will experience in their lifetime. Most people are not prepared to handle the emotional, financial, and legal aspects of divorce without counseling and qualified advice on marital divorce issues.

California is a no-fault divorce state. No-fault divorce is when the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party.

Since 1970 laws allow a divorce to be granted in response to a petition by either party of the marriage without requiring the petitioner to provide evidence that the defendant has committed a breach of the marital contract.

Before 1970, in order to obtain a divorce, one spouse had to prove that the other spouse acted in a way that caused the breakdown of the marriage, such as adultery, physical or mental abuse, abandonment, being held against one’s will, insanity, and the inability to be intimate with your spouse.

No-fault laws took away the need to find fault. It gives either party the freedom to sue for divorce with only the claim of “irreconcilable differences”, which may have led to the high rate of divorce in the United States.

Filing for divorce is not something to be taken lightly or without a firm understanding of the ramifications of each aspect of a divorce settlement.

Find out what your rights are before attempting to come up with a property settlement. Contact the family law offices of Holstrom, Block & Parke. One of our attorneys can help ease you through the process while working to resolve issues to help avoid costly litigation.

Our firm is dedicated to putting our experience to work for you to not only protect you legally, but financially as well. We are dedicated to providing personal attention and understanding your specific goals and needs.

Contact us today at one of our conveniently located offices in San Bernardino, Riverside or Orange County.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

Dating A Married Man?

Jackie Pilossoph from Divorced Girl Smiling recently wrote a post for women considering dating men who are “separated,” and we thought we’d share it here for any of you Corona and Riverside ladies in this predicament.

You went through the divorce process and stayed single throughout, and now that you’re final free you want to date again. You’re attracted to a guy (or girl) who’s separated. Is it ok to date him or not?

Pilossoph believes that people who are “separated” can be in very different places. Each situation is unique. Don’t be too quick to turn someone down because they’re still technically married, but be careful.

Here are a few things to consider:

Is this person emotionally ready to date? People who are recently separated and people who have been “single” for two years are in a very different state of life. So many simply don’t want to (or can’t) go through the divorce process yet, others are still emotionally attached to their spouse.

Is the person living with their spouse still? You need to carefully consider if this will bother you or not.

The couple may end up back together. No matter how “separated” they are, it’s still much more likely and easy to reignite a flame of someone who is separate vs divorced. You’ll need to come to terms with that.

The person hasn’t experienced the emotional trials of divorce. If you’re hoping he can relate to your divorce struggles, think again.Overall, there is no easy equation to determine if you should date someone who’s separated. But make sure to assess the situation truthfully and realize what you’re getting yourself into.

About Dayn Holstrom

Dayn Holstrom is a hard working, compassionate problem solver who welcomes the opportunity to serve you in any way he can. His maximum availability to your questions and concerns begins with your free initial consultation. He is well-seasoned in all matters related to family law and a skilled negotiator and litigator.

Divorce

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