The term “conscious uncoupling” was essentially coined when Gwyneth Paltrow referred to her divorce as some sort of spiritual experience. We see a lot of difficult divorces, and while it’s great that some couples try to make it a peaceful process… it isn’t if you have kids. Rebecca Bitton recently shared a few “truths” about divorcing with kids that may not be easy to hear… but we think they’re important to know.

1. Kids are not completely resilient. Most divorcing parents are told my friends and family that kids are “stronger than you think” or that they’ll “bounce back quickly.” And that’s just not true. In fact, many people are scarred for life because of their parents’ divorce. It’s important to remember this so you can prepare for the worst. If you only expect the best, you may not be prepared to set your child up with a counselor a year later when he/she is still struggling or depressed.

2. Someone will lose it. Good luck to the couples that are trying to act like “mature adults” throughout the entire divorce or separation process. It’s not going to happen. At some point at least one of you is going to lose it, so just expect it. Be ready to deal with it and move on.

3. Not all problems go away. Many people are told that their life will completely start over via divorce and all things will be new! False. That ex you’re divorcing because you can’t stand him anymore… you’ll still have to see and speak to him fairly often because you’re now co-parents, even if you aren’t married anymore.

4. This is no fairytale. You may want to take time off, travel, switch jobs or start a life somewhere new now that the divorce is finally over. But good luck justifying any of that as a parent. You still have responsibilities and children that need you.

Essentially, as much as we all wish there was an easy way out… divorcing with kids is going to be painful and difficult. So be ready for it.

During any divorce, one of the client’s first questions is, “who gets what?” While dividing automobiles, properties, and other personal belongings are a relatively straightforward topic, the issue of pets and divorce is a detail that many couples overlook.

In the state of California, pets are considered personal property that has to be divided. A lot of pet owners cannot think of their pets as “only” property and often treat them like children. Some courts are starting to treat the family pet as another child. Here are a couple issues to think about when dealing with pets in the event of a divorce.

Check the Paperwork

The paperwork attached to the pet has a lot to determine who they ultimately end up with after the divorce. Regarding dogs, if they were registered with the American Kennel Club, double check the paperwork and who signed the forms. Also, make sure that your name is on any ownership documents. Other paperwork that needs to be reviewed are veterinary records, and microchip ID numbers. Having your name on these documents can go a long way in proving ownership.

Set Up a Parenting Plan

Many family courts in California will honor custody arrangements regarding animals. Try to arrange a schedule with your spouse where both parties can see the pet throughout the week. If there are kids and pets involved in the divorce, try to keep them on the same schedule. A pet can help children get through the stress of divorce and provide a type of stability during the process.

Work Out the Details

If a pet is going to be under a custody arrangement, make sure all parties understand who is going to be paying for the maintenance of a pet, like going to the veterinarian, grooming, etc. During these custody talks, it might be a good time to talk about end-of-life treatment scenarios regarding the pet.

Be Understanding

It is easier to be selfish with a pet than with a child. Some nights it might be easier not to drop off the pet at the agreed upon time. But remember, someone else loves the family pet just as much as you do and it is the right thing to let them spend quality time together and enjoy the love that only a pet can give.

Most people are a little reluctant to start dating post-divorce or separation. A divorce is usually the hardest kind of breakup, and getting attached again doesn’t always seem appealing. But once you get over that, most people date again.

But now you’ve been dating for a couple years and thinking of remarrying. And yes, you’re probably terrified. It didn’t work once, how will it work this time? HuffPost’s readers shared their ideas regarding how you know you can remarry.

See what they think you need to ask yourself:

1. Have red flags popped up? If they have, don’t ignore them. Figure out why they’re apparent and if they’ll be deal breakers.
2. Does your partner have negative relationship patterns? If he/she has been divorced several times, what’s changed now to make sure it won’t happen again?
3. Am I marrying for love and a lifetime of happiness or because it’s simply the next step in the relationship?
4. Do I want my child to grow up and be like the person I’m marrying?
5. Do my future spouse and I have the same expectations for this marriage?
6. Does this person accept me exactly the way I am or will I need to change things about myself to make this marriage work?

No one wants more than one divorce. Figure out why your first marriage didn’t work, and do everything possible before saying “I do” a second time to make sure it’s the last time you’ll say it.

The purpose of a domestic violence restraining order is to prevent future acts of abuse. This includes verbal abuse, sexual assault, intentionally or recklessly causing bodily injury, and many other unwanted forms of harassment.

There is no excuse for domestic violence and this article is not condoning this behavior in any way. However, the unfortunate truth is that many individuals seek restraining orders for the wrong reasons. Whether pressured by friends of family, out of spite, or for some other reason, many individuals move forward with restraining orders knowing that they are not the victims of abuse.

Read all of the documents. If you are served with a restraining order make sure that you carefully read all of the paperwork. The court may have issued a temporary restraining order against you pending the permanent restraining order hearing. Make sure that you adhere to these court orders, no matter how much you disagree with them.

Figure out your hearing date. You will be given notice of the permanent restraining order hearing in the paperwork that you receive. Even if the court does not issue temporary restraining orders, you still need to show up to the hearing. This is your opportunity to tell the court your side of the story. It is important to remember that the court may still issue a permanent restraining order against you even if you do not show up to the hearing.

Do not take this matter lightly. Having a restraining order in place against you will be life altering. A restraining order can restrict you in many ways by ordering you to keep a certain distance away from the protected person or persons, their work, and other places. In addition, the court can order you to move out of the place where the protected person lives, and may affect your ability to come in contact with your children. Remember that a restraining order can last for multiple years.

If possible, contact an attorney. The threat of having a restraining order in place against you can be overwhelming and scary. Although results can never be guaranteed, consulting an attorney can exponentially increase your likelihood of being successful in court. An attorney can walk to you through the process, have a realistic conversation with you about your expectations, and vindicate your position in court.